Total Drama Network
by StarcallerSolois
Summary: Twenty-one more All Stars gather at an abandoned television station to compete for one million dollars and another All Star title. Sequel to Total Drama Revenge of the All Stars.
1. Episode 1: The Good, Bad, and Ugly

"Last season on Total Drama Revenge of the All Stars," host Chris begins to say as a shot of Pahkitew Island is shown. "Twenty-one campers from all over Total Drama gathered together to battle it out for not only one million dollars but the title of the ultimate Total Drama All Star. There were heart breaks and tons of drama! In the end, Trent and Courtney battled it out for supremacy, leaving lover boy Trent to win the million and the ever so deserved title." A shot is made to Chris standing on the dock of the island. "After the huge success of last season, the network wanted no delay into the next one! So Chef and I have decided to determine yet another All Star… This time amongst the others! Watch, as twenty-one more campers from Total Drama history come together to not only battle for one million dollars but a title that deems them equal to Trent: Total Drama All Star! I'm your host, Chris McLean, and I'm more than excited to get this ball rolling! Get ready for this exciting season! You won't want to miss any of it here, on Total Drama!

*THEME SONG*

The camera comes back to Chris waiting on the dock of Pahkitew with Chef. "This season is going to be great, man." Chris says.

"Says you. Another season on this crappy island means no more cooking again. Why am I even here?" Chef asks.

"Oh, my friend. This is not the set, but they don't know that!" Chris laughs.

"I don't get you at all." Chef mocks.

"No need! Here comes our boat with our first cast member! From Pahkitew Island, its Jasmine!" Chris says as Jasmine walks up.

"Hey there, Chris. Thanks for having me back." Jasmine says as she breaths in the Pahkitew air. "Oh yeah, it's great to be back."

"Isn't it?" Chris laughs as she takes her place on the other end of the dock. "Next is… Ugh… Ella."

"Hello Chris!" Ella sings. "How are you today?"

"I'm good. Same rule applies that it did in season six. I better not hear you sing any." Chris barks.

"Do not worry, sing I shall not!" Ella cheers as she skips to the other end of the dock.

"Next, we had to pick between Sammy or Amy, so we picked Amy because, well, drama." Chris says as Amy walks past him.

"I can't believe you're making me come back on this show." Amy barks.

"At least Samey isn't here, right?" Chris asks.

"Pfft, as if she could make it two seasons on this show." Amy barks.

***Confessional***

Amy: Samey more than got in my way last time I was on here. With her gone, nothing will stand in my way!

***End Confessional***

"Next up is the big, lovable Rodney!" Chris says as Rodney gets off and gasps at the sight of Jasmine, Amy, and Ella.

"What?! Jasmine?!" Rodney yells.

"Yes?" Jasmine asks.

"And Amy?!" Rodney gasps.

"Yes, what about it?" Amy snaps.

***Confessional***

Rodney: My last season was so awkward because I constantly had to keep breaking hearts! Seeing Jasmine and Amy here is so awkward. And Ella is a whole lot prettier than I remembered.

***End Confessional***

"Okay, ladies' man, get a move on!" Chris barks pushing Rodney out of the way. "Next up is Topher!"

"Chris! Long time no see!" Topher yells running up and hugging Chris.

"Topher. Let me go." Chris says calmly.

"I'm so sorry! Also so sorry for trying to steal your show, how disrespectful of me, could you ever forgive me?!" Topher begs.

"We'll see." Chris says again, calmly.

"Oh thank God!" Topher cheers taking his place.

"Stay calm, McLean." Chris says to himself before Max interrupts.

"Calm is a state for the weak." Max says. "Only true evil can win this game!"

"Okay, whatever. Can someone help this little boy over to the other end of the dock?" Chris asks.

"I'll do it, Chris! For you!" Topher yells.

"Little boy? Apologize this instant!" Max yells as Topher drags him over.

***Confessional***

Max: There is nothing little about evil! I'll show this island one way or another, muahahahaha!

***End Confessional***

"And that's all of the Pahkitew Island members, now for the Revenge of the Island members! Welcome, Anne Maria!" Chris says as Anne Maria walks by hair spraying her hair.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just don't mess up my hair and we'll be cool." She says standing next to Max.

"What evil weapon is that?" he gawks.

"This is hair spray, you little freak."

"Well… Next is Dawn, the, uh, aura reader?" Chris says.

"Thank you so much, Chris." Dawn says as she looks at the other campers. "Ooh, interesting."

"Not this little freak again." Anne Maria barks.

"You don't have to be so mean just because you were once bald." Dawn says as everyone laughs.

"Excuse me?! How'd you…" she begins to asks.

"It's in your aura!"

"Okay, moving right along. Next is… Staci?" Chris says as Staci walks off the boat.

"Who?" Anne Maria asks.

"She was on the show with us." Dawn says.

"How do you not remember someone you were on the same show as?" Jasmine barks.

"Can it, giant!"

"Hi, Chris." Staci says.

"Hi there, Staci." Chris answers.

"Did you know that my great, great, great uncle's name was Chris?"

"Please, get a move on."

"If you say so."

"Shew. Looks like we're really scraping the bottom of the barrel now. Next is Cameron!"

"Hey, Chris! Thanks so much for letting me back in the competition!" Cameron cheers.

"No problem, pal. Over there please." Chris says as Cameron walks over.

"Hey everyone!" Cameron says walking over to the other end of the dock, where he stands next to Anne Maria.

"Next up is Brick!"

"Reporting for duty, Mr. McLean." Brick says carrying his duffel bag.

"Glad to have you on deck, soldier."

Brick walks over and stands with his fellow contestants. "Hey there, allies. It's an honor to play alongside all of you!" Brick says.

"Awe, what a gentleman!" Ella cheers.

"Look forward to it!" Jasmine smiles.

"That concludes the Revenge of the Island cast! Now time to get to the originals! Let's start with the ever so luscious LeShawna!"

"Hey y'all!" LeShawna says high fiving Chris. "Forth time's the charm; I'm here to win!"

"Ooh! I feel like I'm on one of those reality shows where big…" Topher begins to say before LeShawna interrupts.

"Baby, I recommend you don't finish that sentence." She says.

"Next up is Katie and Sadie!" Chris says as the two run by him squealing.

"I can't believe we get to come back on the show!" Katie cheers.

"Oh, I know! This is amazing!" Sadie agrees.

"I couldn't be here without you!"

"Same!" the two hug and jump around.

"Now that's just weird." Brick says.

"You get used to it." LeShawna says.

"Next is back by fan demands: Eva!" Chris says as Eva walks by, stomping on his foot. "OUCH! Nice to have you back!"

"First with that Mal kid, now her? Chris, you crazy." Chef says.

"Listen carefully." Eva says to the contestants. "No one better get in my way, got it?!"

"Okay, we are NOT starting this again!" LeShawna barks.

"Yes, whatever you say, sir!" Ella smiles.

"Sir?! SIR?!" Eva screams.

"Girl, you better watch yourself." LeShawna warns Ella. "She ain't right."

"Moving right along, here's Tyler!" Chris says as Tyler attempts to do a flip off the boat, and just lands on his face.

"OUCH!" he screams. "I always miss the landing."

"Is anyone going to help him up?" Jasmine asks.

"Nah, I'm good." Tyler says getting to his feet. He walks over, and Amy walks over next to him.

"Hey, Tyler." She barks.

"Sammy?! Or are you Amy?" he asks.

"Amy. Good to know you don't even know what your ex looks like, though." She laughs.

"You two look the same!"

***Confessional***

Tyler: Ever since I dated Sammy, things have been hard, and not being able to tell the difference makes it one hundred times worse!

Amy: My stupid sister cried so loudly for weeks after he broke up with her. Time to get some revenge! Not for Sammy, God no, for all of those nights I couldn't sleep because of the loud sobbing.

***End Confessional***

"Well that was fun! Looks like Cody's here! The codmister!"

"Hey, Chris! How's it hanging?" Cody asks. "Looks like we have a lot of new ladies! How are you all?"

"Don't even think about it." Jasmine barks.

"And here comes something so beautiful…" Chris says as Justin steps off the boat and everyone gawks over him.

"Yep. I still got it!" Justin says.

***Confessional***

Justin: After my major face destruction in season two, I thought I'd never be back to normal. But I still got it!

***End Confessional***

"And look! Something equally, if not more beautiful!" Chris yells as Alejandro steps off behind Justin, the contestants still gawking.

"Greetings, Chris." Alejandro says looking at Justin. "Oh, excuse me, amigo."

"Yeah, sorry." Justin says as he watches Alejandro walk to the other end of the dock, with all eyes on him. "This could be a problem." He says to himself.

"Okay! Looks like Geoff's here!" Chris says.

"Woo! Party!" Geoff says running up to Chris.

"So glad to have you back, man!"

"Same, Chris! I'm going to win for Brody! Woo!"

"You mean Bridgette, right?" Sadie asks.

"Yeah, her too!"

"Well that's it! Twenty campers!" Chris says.

"Can't I play too, eh?" Ezekiel asks from behind Chris.

"Zeke? Why are you here?"

"You got me on the boat and everything, homie."

"Oh. I thought I canceled that prank. Nope!"

"Sorry to say, but I pulled a Courtney and got a lawyer! It's your fault that I got mutated, and your only way out is to let me compete!"

"Fine, whatever…" Chris says as Ezekiel cheers and walks to the other end of the dock.

***Confessional***

Ezekiel: I probably could have gotten a lot of money with my lawsuit, but all I want is to play! This camper's got winning in his heart!

***End Confessional***

"There you have it then! Twenty-one more All Stars to compete for one million dollars and a title better than any other: Total Drama All Stars!" Chris says.

"Why's it so special is Trent has it too?" Topher asks.

"It just is, okay?"

"I'm so excited to be back! I've missed this island so much!" Jasmine says.

"I'm glad you missed it so much!" Chris says as a huge boat pulls up. "All aboard!"

"Wait, what?" LeShawna asks.

"You didn't seriously think I'd make two seasons in a row on Pahkitew Island, did you?" Chris asks.

"So we aren't competing on an island?" Brick asks.

"Oh my gosh, that's so exciting!" Katie says to Sadie.

"Why has no one moved? ALL ABOARD!" Chris yells as all the campers run onto the boat. A shot is made to everyone watching the island as they take off. "Isn't it sentimental to look at an island that hosted two great seasons?" Chris says as he pushes a button and makes the island sink. "And poof!" he laughs.

Sometime later, still on the boat, Cody walks over to Anne Maria. "Hey there, come here often?" he asks.

"Beat it, dweeb." She screams slapping him across the face, knocking him to the ground just before storming off.

"Do not mind her." Dawn says helping Cody to his feet. "Her aura is so ugly; it puts dumpsters to shame."

"Haha, that's funny! Thanks for the help!" Cody laughs.

"And your aura tells me that you hit on girls a lot to make up for a lot of your low self-esteem. You should work on that." She walks off.

***Confessional***

Cody: She said that like she's known me my whole life! That was… Amazing!

Dawn: I read auras, it's not that weird. Some people are clean, and some are so littered with things deep inside of them it's not even funny! Most of the people here are littered.

***End Confessional***

Staci walks up to Justin, who's watching the water. "My great, great, great, great, great, great grandad created boats." She says.

"That's cool?" Justin asks as Staci runs over to Alejandro, who has a lot of girls surrounding him.

"Looks like he stole your game, bro." Geoff says walking over to Justin.

"I thought I was cured, but it seems I'm still an ugly beast!" Justin cries.

"Nah, the dude is just too slimy. Girlfriend kisser."

"Watch out man, you sound like Courtney."

"Woah, sorry, dude. First chance we get, let's take him down!"

"That's a deal!"

***Confessional***

Geoff: Earliest alliance in Total Drama history! WOOHOO!

Justin: There is only room for one pretty boy on this show. And that should always be me.

Alejandro: Being back on the show is great. I was sad I wasn't with Heather on the last season, but this works so much better. These losers don't know what's coming!

***End Confessional***'

"Howdy, contestants!" Chris says walking out on a ledge.

"Why aren't you calling us campers anymore?" Rodney asks.

"You sound like you actually liked that?" LeShawna says.

"Here's our stop!" Chris says as everyone looks over and sees a huge city.

"No way! Awesome!" Topher cheers.

"My first city!" Ezekiel cheers as everyone looks at him. "What?"

"Not there, crazy kids! There!" Chris yells pointing at an abandoned television network set.

"What in the world? That looks horrible!" Brick yells.

"Get over it, princess." Amy barks.

A shot is made to the contestants standing around as Chris and Chef walk over. "This is the new set of the season! Welcome to Total Drama Network! About ten years ago this television network set was abandoned because the station just sucked so bad! You twenty-one will have to battle it out for eight weeks, partaking in challenges based on television show genres!" Chris announces.

"So basically season two." Justin says.

"Those were movies, silly boy! However, since this is technically an All Stars season, every three days someone will be eliminated! The losing team will join me at the Gilded Chris ceremony, where the loser will be asked to walk the walk of shame, and ride the lamozene straight to who cares!" Chris says.

"Okay, this is interesting!" Jasmine cheers.

"Chris! Are we splitting into teams yet? I totally want to be a Glamorous Groundhog!" Topher cheers.

"Oh dear boy, this season's team theme will be very different!" Chris says.

"Well, what are they?" Eva barks.

"In every good TV show, there are the good guys, the bad guys, and the ugly people who binge watch the entire series in one sitting!"

"Guilty." Ezekiel says.

"That you are! LeShawna, Tyler, Cody, Geoff, Dawn, Jasmine, and Cameron, you are all from this moment on are members of the Good Grannies!" Chris announces.

"Granny?! I know he isn't calling me a granny." LeShawna barks.

"It means we're good guys!" Cameron says.

"Oh. Thanks, brotha!"

***Confessional***

Cameron: Well, I've never been called a brother before, but I think it means she wants to be my friend!

***End Confessional***

"Eva, Justin, Alejandro, Anne Maria, Amy, Max, and Topher, you all are the Bad Bandits."

"Bandit? I could easily get used to that!" Alejandro cheers.

"Glad to see you appreciate my true evil, Chris." Max says.

"Me?! A Bad Bandit?! Why, Chris?!" Topher screams.

"Probably because you tried to steal my show?" Chris barks.

***Confessional***

Topher: So he's NOT over it!

***End Confessional***

"And that leaves Katie, Sadie, Ezekiel, Staci, Brick, Ella, and Rodney! You seven are the Ugly Couch Potatoes!"

"Do not call her ugly!" Rodney yells pointing at Ella.

"Awwe!" Ella says.

"Chris, why am I ugly?" Brick asks.

"Two words, dude: Military Sweat."

***Confessional***

Brick: I most certainly cannot argue with that.

***End Confessional***

"There we have it! Our season eight teams!" Chris says.

"I'm just so happy to be on the same team as Sadie!" Katie cheers.

"Oh my gosh, I was just thinking that I was so happy to be on a team with you!" Sadie adds.

"Seriously?!"

Brick watches as he looks over and sees Ella singing, while Rodney is watching her, and Staci is talking at Ezekiel, who's picking his nose. "Oh boy." He sighs.

"We have this in the bag!" Alejandro cheers.

"Do not tell me what I have, pretty boy." Eva yells.

"Oh, dearest Eva. You are most beautiful when you are screaming."

"Whatever." Eva says walking off and blushing. Justin face palms.

"This is amazing! Everyone here is so nice!" Cameron cheers.

"That's right, baby doll! Grannies for the win!" LeShawna cheers.

"I cannot believe you got another season." Chef says to Chris.

"Neither can I!" Chris says. "All I can say is that this one is going to rock! Stay tuned next time to see what these guys will be forced to do! Will Brick's team pull through? Will Justin and Geoff's alliance work to take down the evil Alejandro, or will it crumble having absolutely being rushed? And can Ella not sing? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Network!"


	2. Episode 2: Commercials are the worst

"Last time on Total Drama Network," host Chris begins to say as he is standing at the abandoned network station. "Our new twenty-one all-stars showed up a Pahkitew ready to begin their epic fight for the million, when I threw a curve ball and sank the island! We showed up sometime later at an abandoned television network station to begin our next action packed season themed after television shows! I, Chris McLean, your host, honorably welcome you to Total! Drama! Network!"

*THEME SONG*

We join right where we left off, with the teams standing with Chris. "If you'll look behind me, you'll see where we'll be staying this season!" Chris says as the contestants notice three trailers.

"Again, just like season two." Justin says.

"Yeah, that may be true! Except these trailers are bigger!"

"Ooh, awesome." LeShawna mocks.

"Each trailer will be for each team, and they are separated. One side for the gals, and one for the dudes!" Chris says.

"Thank God. I wasn't about to sleep near him." Anne Maria barks pointing at Topher.

"What the heck is wrong with me?! Have you ever seen hair this great?!" Topher barks.

"If she's looked at me she has!" Chris says.

***Confessional***

Topher: Despite Chris' very poorly aged hair, I told myself I was going to win this time. No way am I stealing this show! I'm simply going to showcase my amazing host skills and get my own show, that will put Total Drama to shame!

Alejandro: I need an AC when sleeping, so this is way better than those cabins from season five. I couldn't imagine participating in last season. They're pampering me to win! This is going to be way too easy.

Geoff: So me and my boy Justin agreed to take down Alejandro, so that means I already got a dude on another team! Watch me now, Bridge! We'll see who's better at Total Drama!

Rodney: It's probably good I won't have to sleep near Jasmine. I wouldn't want my feelings for her to ruin her relationship with Shawn, like Gwen almost did last season. At least Amy isn't near me… But now that I think of it, LeShawna is pretty beautiful…

***End Confessional***

"Meet me at the totem pole in an hour to begin our first challenge!" Chris says.

"Woah, wait a minute. Totem pole?" Cody asks.

"Of course! You didn't think I'd leave my favorite thing behind to sink, did you?" Chris asks.

An echoed 'nooooooo' could be heard faintly in the background. The cast looked around suspiciously, but decided to ignore it.

"Well, can't argue with the host man!" Topher cheers.

We join the Good Grannies, who are all congregated to the boy side of the trailer, talking strategy. "Okay, we got a good team going here, y'all. Let's not mess anything up." LeShawna says.

"Listen, dudes, me and my boy Brody always going into hyper drive when in times if dire need, so we need to, like, do that!" Geoff cheers.

"While that seems useful and all, actual plans would be nice." Jasmine says.

"Any situation can be thought out of! As long as we keep our wits about us, we'll accomplish anything!" Cameron cheers.

"I like this little man's idea. Keeping our minds in the game early will do us well." LeShawna says.

"Thanks, LeShawna!"

"Hey, guys, let's ask Dawn what she thinks!" Cody cheers.

"Okay?" Tyler says.

"Well, if I am being volunteered, we most certainly have more stable auras than the other teams." Dawn says.

"Auras?" Jasmine asks.

"What kind of voodoo stuff you talkin', baby girl?" LeShawna asks.

***Confessional***

Dawn: Maybe I should keep the aura thing to myself this season. It is a rare gift after all.

***End Confessional***

"Sorry, we simply need to do our best. The Bad Bandits will probably fight even more than the Tough Toads did, and need I say anything at all about the Ugly Couch Potatoes?" Dawn says.

"Short girls got a point. WE ROCK!" Tyler cheers.

"Well, at least we all have leveled heads. I think we'll do just fine today." Jasmine smiles.

We now join the Bad Bandits males, who are resting in their side of the trailer. "Well, amigos, does anyone mind if I take a top bunk?" Alejandro asks.

"Go for it, man. I have to sleep on a bottom one. If I fall out of bed and ruin my face, I'm done for." Topher says.

"Your face?" Justin asks.

"Yeah!"

"Nothing special." Justin says as Topher gasps.

***Confessional***

Justin: Have I ever mentioned that I'm a little too competitive when it comes to looks?

Topher: *looking into a hand mirror* Don't listen to him! You are very special… To me! *sobs*

***End Confessional***

"Bunks will not matter once all of you go home!" Max yells.

"Excuse me?" Alejandro asks.

"Nice to meet you, but I am sad to announce that true evil has entered the game now!" Max says.

"Dude, you're more clumsy than anything." Topher says.

"Excuse me?! Silence this instant!"

"Um, no."

"No?! Well, this is new."

"You are most delightful, little one." Alejandro laughs. "Why don't you take the bed under me?"

"Good idea. You keep watch in the night for any intruders. You'll make a worthy side kick. A better one than that Scarlet for sure." Max answers.

***Confessional***

Alejandro: Sidekick?! Do not let it bother you, Alejandro. Play the game, do not let the game play you.

***End Confessional***

Meanwhile, the females of the Bad Bandits are also getting situated. "Dibs on a bottom bunk!" Anne Maria yells.

"Why? Because you'll crush the top one?" Eva barks.

"Excuse me, sir, what was that?"

"I'M NOT A-!" Eva begins to yell before Amy interrupts.

"Girls! Quit yelling!" she yells. "I have an hour to nap, and you two better not disturb that."

"Oh, we're sorry, princess." Eva says.

"Yeah, princess jerk!" Anne Maria yells.

"Ooh, good one, I'm so hurt." Amy yells.

***Confessional***

Eva: I don't do confessionals, got it?

Anne Maria: These girls are seriously gonna make me flip. Oh, and if any of them touch my things, there'll be a dead woman!

Amy: I'm not surprised to be on this team at all, I mean, look at me, but if these girls make a habit of screaming, someone's going home due to injury.

***End Confessional***

Finally, we join the Ugly Couch Potatoes all sitting outside of their trailer at a picnic table. "Okay, platoon. We need to talk strategy." Brick says.

"Eh, I got one. Let's win!" Ezekiel cheers.

"That's an amazing idea!" Staci agrees.

"Most brilliant, Ezekiel!" Ella sings.

"Pfft, I could have come up with that." Rodney says.

"Well, while that's our goal, how are we going to do it?" Brick asks.

"We do our best!" Ella cheers.

"We are on fire!" Ezekiel cheers.

"As long as we're together, we'll do nothing but our best!" Katie and Sadie say together.

"Okay, but what exactly is our best?" Brick asks.

"Good enough!" Rodney yells quickly. "Wasn't that a good answer, Ella?"

"Of course!" Ella sings.

"There's no way we can lose!" Staci cheers.

"Best team ever!" Ezekiel cheers.

"Guys, we…" Brick begins to say before being interrupted by Staci.

"Did you guys know my great, great, great, great grandma invented picnic tables?" she asks.

"No way! That's amazing!" Ezekiel cheers.

"Tell us more incredible stories, Staci!" Ella sings.

"Yeah, please!" Katie cheers.

"Oh boy…" Brick sighs.

***Confessional***

Brick: A soldier never complains about his platoon; he works with what he has, and retrieves greatness… But this is too much.

Ezekiel: No way I'm not winning this time! I got this in the bag!

Rodney: I think I may love Ella!

***End Confessional***

"Teams! Totem pole time!" Chris announces over the speaker as Alejandro steps out of the trailer.

"Look!" he says pointing at the Ugly Couch Potatoes. "They're strategizing! How adorable!"

"We'll show you, eh!" Ezekiel screams.

A shot is made to the contestants standing around the totem pole as Chris begins announcing the challenge. "Every good television show has plenty of commercials that make us want to flip the channel. But rarely, they are awesome and have us watching them over and over on the internet! Your job is to use the equipment provided and create a television commercial that I will assign you. Good Grannies: commercial for an action movie. Bad Bandits: commercial for car insurance. Ugly Cough Potatoes: commercial for acne medicine!" Chris announces.

"Why do the grannies get something so cool, while we get acne medicine?!" Brick asks.

"Because most of you need it!" Chris laughs.

"He's right." Rodney says lowering his head in shame.

"Okay, you'll have three hours to complete your commercial, where we'll meet at this season's theater to view the completed work! Ready? Go!"

We join the Good Grannies who are fast at work. "Before anything we need a movie title." LeShawna says.

"How about Die Hard? That's my favorite!" Cody yells.

"I think it has to be original, Cody." Dawn says.

"Make it sports. Sport movies are the best." Tyler says.

"Says you, why not a sci-fi!" Cameron asks.

"Sci-fi would be way too hard." LeShawna says.

"We only have three hours, so we need something easy, dudes." Geoff says.

"Why not sports?!" Tyler barks.

"What's action packed about sports?" Cody asks.

"Are you kidding?"

"Let's do one of those jungle movies or something." Jasmine suggests.

"What does that even mean?!" Cody asks.

"Okay, we'll do a war movie." LeShawna says.

"Now that's a good idea!" Cody cheers.

***Confessional***

LeShawna: I won't lie; I actually gave Harold a chance. Our first date was binge watching a lot of his favorite movies, so I know a thing or two.

***End Confessional***

"We need a name and a main character." LeShawna says.

"Pick me!" Cody yells.

"He was first." LeShawna says.

"Dang it!" Tyler whines.

***Confessional***

Cody: Dawn was right about that whole low self-esteem thing. But I'll show her how manly I really am in this commercial!

Dawn: Cody did that just to impress me. I'll get back to you on how well it works.

***End Confessional***

"That works. Name?" Geoff asks.

"How about Soldier Recon: Jungle Edition." Dawn asks.

"Yes! Jungles!" Jasmine cheers.

"That's actually awesome. Let's get shooting, move it people!" LeShawna says.

Meanwhile, the Bad Bandits are doing anything but making progress. "If I'm not the star, this commercial will suck." Topher yells.

"Shut up! We need to make Alejandro the star since he's more beautiful than you and Justin!" Anne Maria yells.

"Why bring me into this?" Justin asks.

"What of me, Forest Troll?" Max yells.

"Are you even old enough to be on here?" Eva asks.

"I'll show you!" Max screams.

"No time to argue, amigos. Justin, Topher, and I will star in the commercial." Alejandro says.

***Confessional***

Justin: He's mistaken if he thinks including me will guarantee an agreement or something.

Alejandro: Getting the two biggest male threats on my team to join my side will be a piece of cake.

Topher: *sobbing* IT WAS SO NICE OF HIM TO INCLUDE ME *blows nose*

***End Confessional***

"Why do we need three stars for a car insurance commercial?!" Eva barks.

"We just do. Eva, go find a car." Amy barks.

"You did not just give me instructions, did you?" Eva asks.

"Does it sound like I did? Go!"

"Nope, not happening."

"Eva, you must for us to win! Please, for me?" Alejandro asks.

"Well. Fine, whatever." Eva says storming off.

"Who are you…" Justin asks Alejandro.

"No time, let's get to work, people!" Alejandro screams.

Meanwhile, the Ugly Couch Potatoes are hard at work. "We need someone to star in this commercial." Brick says.

"I love TV, eh." Ezekiel says.

"Why does that qualify you? I think Ella should." Rodney says.

"I am camera shy, Rodney!" Ella says.

"You do know cameras follow us around constantly, right?" Brick asks as Ella looks into the camera with huge eyes.

"OOOH! Let Sadie star! She's like, super amazing!" Katie says.

"I was on the acting team in High School!" Sadie says.

"Now that's what I'm talking about! Staci, what do you think?" Brick asks as Staci is staring at the camera.

"My great, great, great, great uncle invented the camera. Isn't that awesome?" she answers.

"Well, okay then. We can't just have one star, who else wants to?"

"Me! Please!" Ezekiel asks.

"Why?"

"I need to prove my worth to the team, eh!"

"Can't argue with that, soldier. It's in your hands."

***Confessional***

Brick: I have no idea if it's a mistake to trust Zeke for not, but a soldier always has faith in his platoon. With faith, a man can accomplish anything!

Ezekiel: For once, someone finally has faith in the Zeke man! I won't let ya down, potatoes!

***End Confessional***

Ezekiel is standing in front of a green screen as Brick and the rest of the Potatoes are behind the camera. "Okay, take one… and, action!" Brick says.

"Woah, my face is all oily and stuff, eh." Ezekiel says.

"Cut!" Brick yells walking up to Ezekiel. "Can you try not to say 'eh' so much?" he asks.

"Gee, I'll try, Mr. Boss Man." Ezekiel says.

"Okay, great!" Brick says walking back to the camera. "Take two… Action!"

"My face is oily, eh… DANG IT!" Ezekiel screams slapping himself in the face. "Not now, Zeke!"

"Oh boy…" Brick sighs.

Meanwhile, the Good Grannies have started filming as Cody is sitting on a bench in front of a green screen. "Alright now, baby doll, just sit tight and say your line, okay?" LeShawna asks.

"You got it! Watch some magical acting unfold!" Cody answers winking at Dawn, who just looks at him weird.

"Take one… Action!" LeShawna yells.

"When the war can't handle you… You can't handle the war…" Cody says with his eyes closed.

"Cut!" LeShawna yells. "Who on earth wrote that line?!"

"Me!" Geoff yells.

"How does that make any sense?!"

"Well, dudette, you see, when the war is too hard, you can't handle it. But the only way to not handle it, is if it can't handle you…" Geoff says with his eyes closed, as he sheds a tear. "Too deep…"

"That is ridiculous." Jasmine says.

"We shouldn't have all wrote lines!" Cameron says.

"I see that now! I'm taking over this part!" LeShawna barks.

"Sorry, guys, I thought it was good." Geoff says.

"It's okay! You'll get it next time!" Cameron smiles.

"Thanks, little dude!"

"You guys, we don't have that much time left. Do we have time to rewrite anything?" Dawn asks.

"Dang it, I wasn't paying attention. Guess we'll have to stick to Geoff's insane lines." LeShawna says.

"LeShawna, you have to let me be the narrator." Tyler says.

"Okay, I guess, it's whatever." LeShawna says.

Meanwhile, the Bad Bandits are working on their commercial, as Justin and Alejandro are in the parked car in front of a green screen. "Okay, Topher. You'll be the cop, and you pull us over and ask us about our insurance, okay?" Alejandro says.

"You got it, man!" Topher yells.

"This is the stupidest idea ever." Eva barks.

"Quit complaining so much." Amy yells as Anne Maria's hair spray chokes her. "Do you mind?!"

"No, thanks for asking!" Anne Maria replies.

"Girls, could one of you please say action?!" Alejandro screams.

"Looks like your charm isn't going to work!" Justin says.

"Yes sir, Mr. Dreamy!" Anne Maria replies.

"Oh come on!"

"Action, or whatever."

Topher walks up to the car and hits it with a police stick so hard, that the engine sets fire. "AHH! Not the hair!" he screams.

"Get out!" Justin screams as he and Alejandro get out of the car.

"Help us set this fire out! Quick!" Alejandro yells.

About an hour passes as Chris comes over the speaker. "Time to present the projects! Report to the Total Drama Theater!" he yells.

"Looks like we'll have to work with what we got…" Alejandro says as a cut is made to the theater.

"Bad Bandits, you're up first! Chris says.

"Bad Bandits present, Topher's car Insurance." Alejandro says as their commercial comes up on the theater screen.

It shows Alejandro and Justin driving down the road in their car. "I sure am glad our car is so insured, what about you?" Justin asks.

"I am, as well, amigo! Mother will be so happy to see us arrive home for this thanksgiving!" Alejandro answers as a police siren goes off behind them.

"What on earth? You are going the speed limit and everything!" Justin screams as Topher walks up.

"Gentlemen… Where we heading today?" Topher asks.

"On our way to see our mother, officer. Is something wrong?" Alejandro asks.

"As a matter a fact, son, there is. I'm going to need to see your car insurance."

"Here." Alejandro says handing the insurance to him.

"Hmm, yes, as I feared. This isn't Topher's Car Insurance!"

"What on earth is that?" Justin asks.

"What you need if you want to stay on the roads!"

"Gee, thanks, officer!" Alejandro smiles.

"Don't thank me, son, thank the road!" Topher replies as him, Justin, and Alejandro all three look at the camera as Anne Maria's voice sings.

"Topher's Car Insurance is the only way to go!" she sings.

The commercial goes off and Topher gets in Chris' face. "How'd I do?! Good? GREAT?!" he asks.

"It was okay. Six out of ten!" Chris announces.

"WHAT?!" Eva yells.

"Relax, Eva. It could have been worse." Alejandro says as the Ugly Couch Potatoes slowly take the stage.

"This will be good! You all are up!" Chris yells.

"We present…" Brick gulps. "Pink power acne cream…"

The commercial starts with Ezekiel awkwardly staring into the camera with a purely white background. "Gee, my face is oily!" he says.

"I CAN FIX THAT!" Sadie literally yells walking over to him. "PUT THIS ON!"

"Wow, that really helped! Thanks, eh! Dang it!" Ezekiel replies slapping himself.

"ACNE A PROBLEM?! GET THIS!" Sadie yells once more holding up the bottle. "IT'S WHAT YOU NEED!"

As the commercial goes off, Chris is sitting with his jaw open wide. "See?!" Ezekiel says bumping Brick's arm. "Told you we killed it!"

"THAT WAS HORRIBLE!" Chris yells. "Why were you screaming?"

"I was acting? Duh?" Sadie replies.

"Yeah, Chris. You should know acting when you see it!" Katie yells as the team gets off the stage and the Good Grannies walk on.

"Finally, please do not suck…" Chris says.

"Oh we won't! We present: Soldier Recon: Jungle Edition!" LeShawna yells as the trailer starts to play.

"In a world…" Tyler says with a really deep voice as nothing but fog is shown. "With a man…" he says as Cody is shown riding on an army bus. "Who wants nothing but to fight for his country, he will encounter his greatest challenge… Himself." A shot is made to Cody running through the jungle with his shirt off and war paint on, as he holds a fake machine gun.

"Stop right there!" Jasmine yells running over to him.

"You can't stop justice!" Cody screams kicking her down.

"He will love…" Tyler's voice says again as a shot is shown of Cody laying in a military bed as a nurse, Dawn, walks over and the two smile at each other. "And he will love some more…" Tyler's voice says again as a shot is shown to Dawn laying in a hospital bed, as Cody stands over her holding their new born baby, which is Cameron in a diaper. "Will his love get in the way of his war?" Tyler's voice says as Cody is standing in the middle of the jungle looking at a picture of Dawn and Cameron. "Or will he get lost in the jungle?"

"Soldier, you need to get your stuff together!" LeShawna yells at a shirtless Cody with a fake cigar in his mouth. Another shot is made to Geoff driving a military car through a battle field with Cody in the back. The car comes to a halting stop.

"I can't do it man!" Geoff screams.

"Listen to me…" Cody says walking to Geoff, as he looks at the picture of Dawn and Cameron. He closes his eyes. "When the war can't handle you… You can't handle the war…"

An explosion happens and the logo comes in huge letters. "Soldier Recon: Jungle Edition." Tyler's voice says. "Coming this summer."

As the commercial ends, Chris is left in tears. "What will happen to the man… The war… The jungle… BRAVO! BRAVO! Ten out of ten! The Good Grannies win the first reward!" Chris cries.

"That's what I'm talking about, baby!" LeShawna cheers.

"Sir, you never gave us our score." Brick says.

"That's how bad it was. I'll see you all tonight at the Gilded Chris ceremony! Grannies, enjoy a nice meal from Don's Steak House!" Chris says.

"Dude, I love steak!" Tyler yells.

A few hours pass and we join the Ugly Couch Potatoes at the Gilded Chris Ceremony. "Who will be first to go? Reach under your seat, just like in season two, and use the device to vote for whoever you want to go home!" Chris says.

"Great! Votes are all in!" Chris says as everyone puts their devices back. "Gilded Chris' for: Brick, Ella, Rodney, Staci, and Katie." Chris says leaving Ezekiel and Sadie.

"Oh come on!" Ezekiel screams.

"This isn't good!" Sadie whines.

"Sadie, you told your team you could act and did horrible." Chris says. "And Ezekiel, you totally blew it too, and you always go first."

"I get the picture, eh." Ezekiel says with a tear in his eye.

"Which is why it pains me to say this… The next Gilded Chris goes to… Ezekiel!"

"WHAT?!" Ezekiel screams as he grabs his Gilded Chris. "My first symbol of immunity ever!" he cheers.

"NO! I can't play without Sadie!" Katie cries.

"This'll be just like season one, but you are stronger than me, you can do this!" Sadie encourages.

"I'll miss you..." Katie cries as Sadie gets into the Lamozene.

"I'll miss you too!" Sadie cries as it takes off, and Katie breaks to the ground in tears.

"Well, that was a show!" Chris says. "How much longer can Ezekiel make it? Will the gals of the Bad Bandits see through Alejandro's disguise? And, most importantly, will the Ugly Couch Potatoes ever become useful? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Network!"


	3. Episode 3: Super Extreme Sports Action

"Last time on Total Drama Network," host Chris says. "Our teams had to create an assigned commercial. Some were amazing, and I knew the Ugly Couch Potatoes would lose as soon as I saw Ezekiel's face. Contrary to popular belief, Zeke was not the first to go home! Sadie went packing, leaving Katie in tears. One down, twenty to go! Who will go home next? Find out here on Total! Drama! Network!"

*THEME SONG*

We join all the contestants eating breakfast at the cafeteria tent. "Wow, Chef! This doesn't look too bad!" Cameron cheers as he is next in line to get his food.

"Bite your tongue, tooth pick." Chef growls as he pours a slop of eggs onto his tray.

***Confessional***

Cameron: Without Mike or Zoey here, it's going to be hard to get far. So I'm going to go by what my mom always says: when you have an enemy, kill them with kindness! Well, if there were a less violent way to say that, I would.

***End Confessional***

"This all you got?" Brick asks as Chef gives him his breakfast. "We eat way worse stuff at basic!"

"For real." Chef laughs.

"I forget you served, Chef. What branch were you in?"

"The United States Army."

"Awesome, you aren't Canadian, just like me." Brick says walking off.

"I like that kid." Chef says.

"There's no way you actually were in the army." Amy barks.

"Shut it, prom queen!"

We join Justin, who's eating and watching girls all sitting around Alejandro. "Can I touch your hair?" Staci asks.

"Let's keep this strictly for the eyes, ladies." Alejandro says.

"Sure thing!" Ella sings.

"Can you believe him?!" Rodney asks sitting next to Justin. "Not even getting to know the girls. What a jerk."

"You're telling us, bro." Geoff says sitting with Justin and Rodney.

"That used to be me, boys." Justin says playing with his food. "What's happened to my face?!"

"Nothing, man, he just has that Mexican charm." Rodney comforts.

"Don't worry, bro, our alliance will get him." Geoff says.

"Alliance?" Rodney asks.

"Way to go, Geoff." Justin says.

"Ah, crap. Sorry dude." Geoff whines.

"If this is an alliance to get rid of that woman stealer, count me in." Rodney says.

"Hmm, an alliance with people from all three teams could be useful… It's a deal." Justin says shaking Rodney's hand.

"Sweet, dudes! We're going to run this game!" Geoff cheers as the camera zooms out and shows Alejandro glancing over at them.

***Confessional***

Alejandro: What was that I heard? An alliance just to get rid of me? Seems way too early into the season for that. Not to worry, though, idiot surfer Geoff, lover boy Rodney, and jealous Justin will have to try way harder than that. They'll probably try to drop me off at the merge. Can't control a game that's not yours, boys.

***End Confessional***

Amy walks up to the table and sits across from Justin, Geoff, and Rodney. "I'm going to sit here." She barks.

"Surprised you aren't over there with the fajita." Rodney whines.

"As if. I'm not the type of girl to fall all over a guy just because he's smoking hot." Amy barks.

"Honorable, very honorable." Geoff says.

"That's a good choice, he's trouble." Justin warns.

"You don't have to tell me twice; do I look like an idiot?" Amy asks.

"Not at all." Justin answers as Ezekiel walks up behind Amy.

"Mind if I sit here, eh?" he asks.

"Ew, not beside me!" Amy screams.

"Zeke? You didn't get eliminated?" Geoff asks.

"Heck no, homie! This time I got winning on my mind!" he says sitting next to Geoff.

"Good for you, little dude!"

"Oh contestants!" Chris says over the speakers. "Sorry to interrupts your breakfast, well, no I'm not."

"Shocker." Eva barks.

"But it's challenge time! Totem pole!"

A cut is made to the teams around the totem pole as Chris comes out to explain the next challenge. "Television has many, many different genres! Each week, your challenges will be based on a different one!" Chris says.

"Thanks for the recap, how about getting to the challenge?" Eva asks.

"Haha, you got him!" Tyler laughs.

"Well, today we'll meet over at the football field first, because it's sports show day!" Chris announces.

"YES! I GOT THIS IN THE BAG!" Tyler cheers.

"Oh? You play sports?" Jasmine asks.

"Don't you see his aura? It's his favorite thing!" Dawn says.

"Yeah! My favorite!" Tyler cheers.

"Even if he might not be so great at them."

"Hey!"

"Are we done chattering? Good. Get to the football field so I can explain our challenge, please and thank you!" Chris barks.

***Confessional***

Alejandro: At breakfast, I saw Amy sitting with those three, so I can't let her get too close. Time to use some of my Latino magic!

***End Confessional***

As the teams are walking over to the football field, Alejandro walks over to Amy. "Amy! You are looking most beautiful today!" he says.

"Yeah, I know, and I don't need some pretty boy to tell me!" she barks.

"Amy, why must you react with such venom? I am only treating you with kindness." Alejandro says.

"I know your act, pal. You can't fool me so easily like you do all of your other girls."

"Amy, it hurts that you truly do believe that I want to harm you. If that is how you feel, I shall go." Alejandro says walking off.

"Okay, bye." Amy barks.

***Confessional***

Alejandro: Playing hard to get? Reminds me of Heather… Oh, this will be a most fun season.

Amy: He literally makes me sick. Like, ew.

Topher: Did you see how messy Chris' hair was today? He really needs to fix that. No good host can host if he looks like a dump truck! He'll never see this, right?

***End Confessional***

The camera pans over to the Ugly Couch Potatoes as they walk over to the challenge. "Okay, platoon, let's not lose like we did last time. It's a game of sports, so we'll just have to use our pure athletic skills!" Brick cheers.

"Sadie loved sports!" Katie sobs.

"Really?" Ezekiel asks.

"Yes!"

"Weird."

"My great uncle played for the Ottawa Senators." Staci says.

"Good to know, do you have any hockey skills?" Brick asks.

"I don't sport."

"I don't think that's a verb, Staci." Rodney says.

"You are correct, Rodney! So smart!" Ella sings.

"Gawhh, thanks!" Rodney blushes.

"Please let us win." Brick whispers with his eyes shut.

A shot is made to the teams standing around with Chris on the football field. "Today's challenge will be cut into three of the most popular sports aired on television: Football, Basketball, and gaming!" Chris says.

"Gaming?!" LeShawna barks.

"Sweet!" Geoff cheers.

"Each challenge will only require one of you to participate." Chris says.

"Let me do all of them, I got this!" Tyler cheers.

"I wish it were that easy, but I've chosen who will participate where!" Chris says.

"Oh boy." Cameron gulps.

"Worry not, soldiers, we got this!" Brick cheers as his team cheers with him.

"At the end of each challenge, the winner will receive a point, whereas the loser will receive a negative point." Chris says.

"What's that?" Cody asks.

"Simple! Team at the end of the day with the most points wins the reward! Team with the most negative points sends someone home!"

"Easy enough." Alejandro says.

"Says you, I'll ruin my poof!" Anne Maria barks.

"Quit whining so much." Eva barks.

"I literally cannot stand you."

"Blah, blah, blah." Amy mocks.

"Please, shut up! Cameron, Anne Maria, and Staci. You three will participate in the football challenge.

"Why me!?" Cameron asks.

"Because this will be amazing." Chris laughs.

A shot is made to the three contestants standing at the end of the football field, all three holding their footballs. "All you have to do is race to the other end!" Chris says.

"Is that it?" Staci asks.

"Well, that won't be that bad." Cameron says.

"Oh, in Total Drama tradition, here's some obstacles!" Chris says as bears are released from the stadium, onto the field.

"Lovely." Anne Maria sighs.

"Go!" Chris yells as the three take off.

"Come on, Cam! You got this!" Cody yells.

"You can do this, Anne Maria!" Alejandro screams.

"Please do your best, Staci." Brick begs.

"No worries, running has been running in my family forever!" Staci laughs. "Get it?!" she asks as a bear rises from behind her and chases her in the opposite direction.

"And we're doomed." Brick face palms as Ezekiel is cracking up.

"Running in her family! That's golden!" he laughs.

"This really isn't so bad!" Cameron cheers as he runs closer to the end, before a bear pops up in his way. "Nice bear, good bear..."

"Having fun, dweeb?" Anne Maria asks as a bear does the same to her.

"I don't know, you tell me!"

"Get lost!" she yells head butting the bear in the gut with her rock hard hair, knocking it to the ground, and securing victory for the Bad Bandits.

"Bandits get the first point!" Chris announces.

"Come on, Cameron!" LeShawna yells.

"I can't, it's a bear!" he screams as Staci is chased right passed him, to the finish line.

"Staci beat Cameron… Really?" Chris asks. "First negative point goes to the Grannies!"

"Way to go, Cam." Tyler whines.

***Confessional***

Cameron: Only my second challenge and I'm already letting me team down… This is embarrassing.

Tyler: Chris did that on purpose, if I had been picked, that would have gone completely different! Just saying.

***End Confessional***

"With that pathetic display, lets skip right to the theater for the gaming portion!" Chris announces.

***Confessional***

Alejandro: Soccer. Soccer is a real sport. None of this sissy stuff Chris has us doing, and gaming? He has to be kidding us! That fat kid from season five would be good at this, whatever his name was.

Ezekiel: I'm from a farm, yo. We don't have a lot of… *confessional cuts off on him mid-sentence*

Cody: If I'm picked for this one, we are golden! Plus, it's a sure way to impress Dawn! Dang, why do I keep thinking about her?

Dawn: Cody won't stop looking at me ever since the commercial challenge. And by the way, it did impress me I must say!

Ezekiel: Hey, I think this thing went... *static interrupts again*

***End Confessional***

As the contestants are waiting at the theater, Chris walks up with three wireless controllers. "The game is simple." He says. "Cody, Alejandro, and Ezekiel will play a game of Tetris together! One with the highest score gets the point; lowest score gets the negative point!"

"This is the lamest thing I've ever had to do on this show." Alejandro whines.

"Yes! Watch this!" Cody says smiling at Dawn.

"Why does he keep doing that?" she whispers to Tyler.

"It's Cody, brah. You better hope he just doesn't try to steal your bra." Tyler answers.

"My what?!"

"Are we ready?" Chris asks.

"Born ready!" Ezekiel screams.

"Go!" Chris yells as the blocks come falling down.

"You guys are toast, I used to play this on the can all the time!" Cody brags.

"This isn't mind numbing; this is a simple puzzle. Elementary!" Alejandro cheers.

"How do you hold this thing, eh?" Ezekiel asks.

"It's a controller, even I can hold a controller!" Brick yells.

"I'm trying, yo!"

"Just one more and… There!" Cody says as he lines up a row. "Good luck beating that, Al!"

"What did you call me?!" Alejandro barks.

"You heard me!"

"What's with that?" Jasmine asks.

"Girl, something about his brother or something." LeShawna says.

***Confessional***

Alejandro: Not just my brother, the biggest jerk I've ever met in my entire life!

***End Confessional***

"Guys, you only have a minute! May want to pick it up!" Chris says.

"We got this, don't worry!" Cody focuses.

"You can do this, Alejandro." Anne Maria yells.

"I think I got it!" Ezekiel yells pushing a button. "There!"

"Zeke, you paused the game…" Brick face palms.

"Oh, good. I needed a break, eh."

"That's time!" Chris yells. "Cody has 100,000, Alejandro has 98,000, and Ezekiel has 6… Wow."

"How'd he even get that many?!" Rodney yells.

"Point for the Good Grannies!"

"Yes!" Cody yells.

"Wow, I am actually impressed." Dawn smiles.

"You totally like him." Tyler mocks.

"Him? No, I don't."

"Dudette." Geoff interrupts. "You totally do."

***Confessional***

Dawn: Me and dating don't mix well… I've had one boyfriend, and it ended bad after he stole my juice box. I'm just way too picky, and can't help but read people.

Geoff: She totally likes him.

Alejandro: That little dweeb only won because it was a pathetic game! He'll get what's coming.

Max: There has not been quite enough evil screen time this episode, so I come to you to say… *confessional interrupts*

***End Confessional***

As the teams are walking towards the next challenge, Cody walks over to Dawn. "So? What'd you think?" he asks.

"I think you have some pretty awesome skills!" Dawn answers.

"Thanks! How's that aura looking now?"

"Very egotistical. You're going to have to earn a leveled head." Dawn says walking off.

"Dude, harsh." Tyler says walking over to Cody.

"Maybe not. Way I see it; she's prepping me towards being her boyfriend!" Cody answers.

"How's Sierra going to like that?"

"Dude, I never was dating her. Besides, I finally got a restraining order after I kept finding her following me around on my college campus."

"Wow, was it that bad?"

"Let's just say she scared every girl off that even looked at me. And there's no sign of her here, which means it's Dawn o'clock!"

"Good luck, dude. You'll need it!"

"Thanks, wait, hey!"

The contestants finally arrive at the Basketball challenge, and Chris begins to explain the next challenge. "Okay, this is it. The last, super intense, basketball challenge! There's ten seconds left in the big game, and the championship title depends on this one basket! Tyler, Max, and Brick, you'll have to score an amazing trick shot to win the game!" he says.

"Wait, him?" Alejandro asks.

"Yes, me. No ball is immune to evil!" Max answers.

"Yes, I totally got this in the bag, guys!" Tyler cheers.

"Well, we used to play basketball all the time back at basic; so this shouldn't be that bad." Brick says.

"In that case, you go first Brick!" Chris says.

"You can do this, yo." Ezekiel says.

"Thanks for your encouragement, soldier." Brick smiles. Brick steps up, and scores a shot from the complete other end of the court.

"Wow." Chris says.

"Shocked?" Brick asks.

"Well, impressive, but not a trick shot. I'll give it an 8."

"I could have done better…" Rodney says.

"I'm sure!" Ella sings.

"Sadie loved basketball…" Katie sobs.

"Don't cry, I'm sure she misses you too." Rodney comforts.

"Probably… Thanks!" Katie smiles.

***Confessional***

Rodney: Gee, I wonder how I'm going to tell Katie that I love her… Ella will be crushed…

***End Confessional***

"Max, your turn!" Chris says.

"Watch and behold, teammates of doom!" Max yells laying the ball on the ground. "Listen, ball. You are my new minion. Get into the basket!"

"Wow." Alejandro sighs.

"Is he an idiot?" Amy asks.

"Curse you, you darned ball!" Max yells as he kicks the ball right into the basket.

"Woah… Combining soccer and basketball?! I love it! Ten!" Chris cheers.

"Well, feet of evil, you impress me again!" Max smiles.

"There we go, Max!" Topher cheers.

"Place at the table." Alejandro says patting Max on the back.

"Thank you, side kick." Max says.

***Confessional***

Justin: Did you hear that? It's only been a few days and that guy is already running this game! I need to stop this soon.

***End Confessional***

"You almost threw the game for us." Eva barks.

"Did I?" Max says.

"By luck, short stuff." Anne Maria barks in his face.

"Why is this troll spitting on evil?" Max asks.

"Troll?!"

"Listen, ladies, he means no harm. He did win the challenge anyway!" Justin says.

"So?!"

"Anne Maria, keep calm, you are most beautiful when you are calm." Alejandro says.

"Well, for you baby doll…" Anne Maria smiles as Amy gags.

***Confessional***

Alejandro: So Justin is trying to play his game again, eh? Not going to work. This is my game now.

Justin: Did you see that?! What's happening to me…

Amy: Did you see that? How could a girl be so stupid over a guy like that? So weak.

***End Confessional***

"Tyler, you're up man!" Chris says.

"Okay now Tyler, you got this, right?" LeShawna asks.

"Have more faith than that! I got this!" Tyler cheers. He walks on to the court, at the other end. "I call this the super-duper Tyler winning shot of awesomeness!"

"Oh my gosh… That is an awesome name!" Cody cheers. Tyler throws the ball, it bounces off the wall, then off the bleachers, then off of Anne Maria's hair, then towards the basket. Instead of going in, it hits the rim and flies towards Tyler's face, knocking him down.

"Wow. I give that a one." Chris says.

"Well, crap." Tyler whines.

"Reward goes to the Bad Bandits!" Chris cheers. "You get chicken wings from Don's Wing Shack!"

"Why does Don have so many restaurants?" Topher asks.

"Wouldn't you if your show failed? Haha!" Chris laughs.

***Confessional***

Topher: *panicking* I would DIE! Also, I thought the Ridonculous Race did well. Interesting…

***End Confessional***

"Good Grannies, meet me at the Gilded Chris ceremony in an hour!" Chris cheers.

"Well this is just great…" Jasmine says glaring at Tyler.

"What?!" Tyler defends.

An hour passes as the Good Grannies arrive at the ceremony. "Go on, vote for who's going home! You know the drill!" Chris says.

***Confessional***

Dawn: Today there was so many mixed signals. Tyler and Cameron are our weakest players. Have to pick one of them.

Jasmine: Tyler completely threw that challenge! He's out of here!

LeShawna: He may be a brother, but I got to vote for Cameron. Him and Tyler may have done bad, but at least Tyler is kind of athletic. I have no idea how that tooth pick makes it so far every time.

***End Confessional***

"Chris' for: LeShawna, Jasmine, Dawn, Cody, and Geoff. That leaves Tyler, who is not Michael Jordon, and Cameron, who is anything but athletic. And the next award goes to… Tyler!" Chris says throwing the award to Tyler.

"Me?!" Cameron gasps. "I thought I was getting along with everyone so well!"

"Sorry dude, it was a close one though." Chris says.

"Well, seconds better than first, I guess." Cameron says getting into the Lamozene.

"There we have it! Two down: nine-teen to go! Who will go next? Will the Ugly Couch Potatoes ever win again? Can Justin ever take down Alejandro down? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Network!"


	4. Episode 4: Are You Smarter Than Ezekiel?

"Last time on Total Drama Network," Host Chris begins to say. "There was a special sports marathon on! Some of our MVPs showed their true skills, then there were people like Zeke, Cam, and Tyler, who completely bombed! In the end, the Good Grannies sent Cameron packing because, let's face it, the kid is a mess! Only nineteen left, so we are far from the end! Get ready for more Total! Drama! Network!"

*THEME SONG*

The camera fades in to the Good Grannies relaxing outside their trailer. "Cameron was nice, I kind of feel bad about voting him off." LeShawna says.

"We did what we had to do, he was holding us back. Nice or not, it was in our best interest." Jasmine answers.

"Yeah, and now we're heading straight to victory!" Tyler cheers. "Isn't that right, Cody?" Tyler asks as Cody is sitting there starring at Dawn, who's drinking a bottle of water.

"Yeah, great." He answers.

"Why do you keep staring at me?" Dawn asks.

"What? I'm not staring at you, I was, uh, staring at LeShawna!"

"I'm behind you, baby doll." LeShawna laughs.

***Confessional***

Dawn: I am usually creeped out by stares, but I'm rather flattered to be honest.

Cody: My eyes think Dawn is hot, so who am I to tell them no? And Gwen? Forget her. After watching Total Drama Revenge of the All Stars, that's nothing but trouble. Besides, if she'd pick some delusional guy obsessed with zombies over me, I literally stand no chance.

***End Confessional***

"Dudes, anyone down for a back rub?" Geoff asks.

"Who randomly offers that?" Tyler asks.

"Someone who wants his team to go far, that's who!"

"We're fine, thanks." Jasmine laughs.

***Confessional***

Jasmine: That Geoff is funny, but unlike my boyfriend, Shawn, I refuse to be weakened by looks. I could barely watch what happened on last season, it just hurt too much. But I stayed with him. He really had no bad intentions at all.

***End Confessional***

Alejandro and the rest of the Bad Bandits watch from a far. "They get along way too much, it's almost unsettling." Alejandro spits.

"Their business is their business. Who cares?" Amy barks.

"I don't like your tone." Eva barks.

"Girls, please, let's at least try to get along." Alejandro begs.

"Anything for you, Mr. Sweetness." Anne Maria gawks.

"That barely even makes any sense." Justin says.

"Sir." Topher says to Alejandro. "Will you be the star on my reality show?"

"What is your show called?" Alejandro asks.

"Well, I don't have one yet, but look at this face, I'll have one."

"I'll look at that face…" Max says walking over to Topher. "As it bows down to true evil! Which is me!"

"I think you're taking the Bad in Bad Bandits a little too literally." Justin says.

"How dare you propose that to me?! I AM DARKNESS INCARNET!"

"Relax, my short friend." Alejandro says.

"Relax, my short friend." Amy mocks.

"Good one." Alejandro laughs.

***Confessional***

Alejandro: It would appear that Amy is treating me a lot like a certain once bald girl did. Forgive me, Heather, but I have a new game to play…

Amy: Pretty, popular guys are seriously the worst. Look at him, just who does he think he is?!

***End Confessional***

"Can we at least try to get along?" Justin asks. "Ladies?" he winks over at the girls.

"Ew, you're blocking Jalapeno, or whatever." Anne Maria says throwing Justin to the ground.

"Girls are so stupid." Eva whines as Amy reaches over to help Justin up.

"Try not to stoop to that low level, its gross." She says.

"Well, apparently I've learned my lesson." Justin says looking over at Alejandro with Anne Maria all over him.

"The guy's like honey to bears for chicks." Topher says walking over to the two. "If only hair worked like that. He would have no problems getting his own show!"

The team is interrupted by Ezekiel's huffing and puffing.

"Almost there, Soldier!" Brick yells.

"Tag!" Ezekiel yells as he runs over to Brick and tags his hand, just before falling over.

"Great work! Training is complete for the day!" Brick says.

***Confessional***

Brick: My team may not seem so impressive, but as soon as I am done with them, they'll be fit soldiers ready for anything! No platoon of Brick MacArthur will be bad!

***End Confessional***

Brick and Ezekiel walk over to the rest of their team, who are all out of breath and laying on the ground. Ezekiel falls down in pain with the others. "That was horrible." Staci whines.

"Why'd you make us run so much?" Rodney barks.

"It was only a quarter of a mile." Brick says.

"I didn't see you run, eh!" Ezekiel barks.

"I did my 5k this morning."

"I did my 5k this morning." Staci mocks.

"Good one, eh!" Ezekiel laughs.

"Listen, you'll all forgive me in due time. It'll pay off soon." Brick says.

"How do you know that for certain?" Ella asks.

"Yeah, this pain is enough for a life time!" Rodney cries.

"I'm in the army, I was once at a point where this was too hard as well. It gets easier, and when it does, you're golden!" Brick cheers.

"It has always been my dream to become a bull fighter, maybe this will help!" Ezekiel cheers.

"Maybe!" Ella cheers with him.

"That's the spirit!" Brick says as Alejandro approaches behind him.

"Excuse me." He says.

"Yes, Alejandro?" Brick asks.

"I noticed your team running laps, and it is appalling that you would force such beauty to run." Alejandro says as he helps Ella up.

"Oh now, you." Ella blushes.

"This is our team, we have our ways of figuring things out, isn't that right?!" Brick cheers.

"That's right, eh! Go us!" Ezekiel cheers.

"It was nothing more than an observation." Alejandro says walking off.

***Confessional***

Ella: Whenever he touched me, I heard melodies going off in my heart! It was perfect! Wait until my best friend Sugar finds out about this! *a faint scream saying "I HATE YOU" is heard in the distance. *

Rodney: He touched Ella… *twitches*

Brick: How dare he come over to my area and criticize my work? This is war.

***End Confessional***

"Wait… Has anyone seen Katie?" Brick asks.

"I think she's over there, eh." Ezekiel says pointing at Katie, who's sobbing and holding on to a tree. Brick walks over.

"Katie, what on earth is wrong?" he asks.

"This tree reminds me of the one me and Sadie saw on season one!" she cries.

"You were on an island, there were a lot of trees…"

"I MISS SADIE!"

"Listen, I know you do, but she wouldn't want you here sobbing about it! Listen, maybe if you were to do your best, and win the million, she would be so proud of you!"

"Yeah, that sounds like something Sadie would like… To take from me."

"Pardon?"

"If I won the million, she'd do nothing but mooch it off of me! Oh Katie, let's go to the mall so I can ROB YOU!" Katie yells punching the tree.

"Wow, I'm assuming she borrows a lot of money?"

"Not just a lot, an uber-lot!"

"That's not a word."

"I am going to win this, then buy a restraining order against Sadie!"

***Confessional***

Brick: I wasn't about to tell her you don't buy restraining orders, but that nonsense got a fire burning in that girl's heart! My team may not be useless after all.

Katie: Who needs Sadie anyway?! She sucks!

***End Confessional***

"Hey kiddos!" Chris says over the speaker. "Time for your next challenge! Report to the Theater ASAP!"

"Not the totem pole? Bummer." Geoff says.

***Confessional***

Dave: YES!

***End Confessional***

As the contestants arrive at the theater, they don't see Chris, but see three different booths on the stage. "What on earth?" LeShawna asks.

"What's this?" Justin asks.

"The three booths are marked for our teams, perhaps we should sit at them?" Alejandro asks.

"Wow, thanks, Captain Obvious." Amy barks.

"So feisty, I love it!" Alejandro winks at Amy as the teams get behind their booths. Suddenly, Chris appears in a fancy suit out of the floor.

"Where'd you come from?! Evil demands an answer!" Max barks.

"Long story! Today's show genre is one that you'll most commonly see either at your grandparents house or at a nursing home: the Game Show!"

Chef walks up in his normal dress. "Gee, hey there, Girl Chef!" Topher laughs.

"I hate my life…" Chef says.

"We've made up our own rules for our very special edition of: Total Drama the Game!" Chris announces.

"Wow, that sounds awesome!" Geoff cheers.

"What doesn't sound awesome to you?" Jasmine asks.

"Brody in pain…" Geoff says with a tear in his eye.

"Rules are simple: I'll ask a question, and first team to chime in will get a chance at answering said question! If you get it right, Chef will draw a card for you! Here is when the game plays like Catch Twenty-One! You're going to want as many cards as you can get to be as CLOSE as you can be to twenty-one, go one over, and you're done for! Team to get closest to twenty-one and have the other two teams bust will be our winners! First team to bust will meet me at the Gilded Chris ceremony!" Chris says.

"Did you know my great, great, great, great grandad died at age twenty-one?" Staci asks.

"Wow, that one was morbid, Staci." Brick says.

"LeShawna, Brick, and Alejandro are the team captains, so they are the only ones allowed to chime in! Questions will be about the cast from Total Drama Revenge of the All Stars!" Chris says.

"Come on, isn't everyone sick of them by now?!" Topher whines. "Why not questions about me?"

"Because you suck, Topher. First question: What was the first chord Trent ever learned on guitar?" Chris asks.

"Anyone know Trent well enough to know this?" Brick asks.

"First of all, what's a chord, eh?" Ezekiel asks as LeShawna chimes in for the answer.

"It was a G chord!" she answers.

"That is correct! Chef, draw a card for the Good Grannies!" Chris says as Chef draws an eight.

"They got an eight, Chris." Chef answers with an awkward smile.

"That'll do, keep them coming, baby!" LeShawna cheers.

"We are unbeatable!" Geoff cheers.

"So far, Geoff! Next question: What was Courtney's band called?" Chris asks as Alejandro chimes in for the answer.

"The Type A Psychotic Crazies!" He answers.

"That is correct!" Chris smiles.

"What on earth, not even asking the team first?" Justin barks.

"I know Courtney; we bonded on season three!" Alejandro smiles.

"Well I was her prince!"

"Even I know that means nothing, Justin." Tohper says.

"Who is Courtney?" Max asks.

"Chef, will you do the honors?" Chris asks.

"Do you gotta ask every time? I know my job." Chef barks drawing a ten. "Chumps got a ten."

"Brilliant!" Alejandro cheers.

"Thanks, Alehunkdro!" Anne Maria gawks.

"Don't make me gag, seriously." Amy barks.

***Confessional***

Justin: I love the way Amy is constantly sticking it to Alejandro; it's amazing!

Topher: Where's all the Chris questions? That's where I would shine!

***End Confessional***

"Next question: Where did Dave take Dakota on their first date after the show went off?" Chris asks.

"Was Dave the one who cried a lot?" Max asks.

"Yes." Amy says.

"I always likes to imagine I inflicted the pain! It was glorious!"

"I know!" Ella says chiming in. "On a helicopter ride picnic!"

"That!" Brick says chiming in.

"That is one hundred percent correct!"

"Great answer, Ella. I expected nothing less." Alejandro says winking.

"What a sweetheart, awe!" Ella sings.

***Confessional***

Rodney: Why does Ella keep gawking over him? What does he have that I don't? Besides looks? Must be that Latino blood or something.

***End Confessional***

"Chef, you know what to do!" Chris cheers.

"That I do." Chef says drawing the card. "Two."

"Seriously? Just a two?" Brick asks.

"Yes! Better than one!" Ezekiel cheers.

"But worse than three!" Ella sings.

"What on earth, that's a horrible number guys!" Brick whines.

"Why don't you make it run a mile and change?" Staci snaps.

"Yeah, do that, eh!" Ezekiel agrees.

***Confessional***

Staci: Ezekiel and I have a lot in common, we both got booted first before. Besides, he laughs at things I say. I may pursue a love interest!

***End Confessional***

"Come on now, guys, I'm only trying to help." Brick defends.

"Help kill us!" Rodney snaps.

"Now, now, sir Brick has a kind heart!" Ella cheers.

"A kind heart of darkness." Katie spits.

"What the heck, Katie?" Brick asks.

***Confessional***

Katie: All this pink crap reminds me of Sadie, so yeah, I went Goth. What about it? I just need to change out of these gross clothes first.

***End Confessional***

"As much as I would love to listen to your team fall apart, it's time to move right along. Next question: Where does Shawn believe is the safest place away from Zombies?" Chris asks.

"Say water!" Jasmine says to LeShawna.

"Are you fo real?" she asks.

"Do it!"

"Water!"

"WRONG!" Chris yells.

"What?!" Jasmine gasps as Alejandro chimes in.

"My friend here tells me it's trees." He says.

"Correct!" Chris says.

"Evil always is aware of his surroundings." Max cheers.

"How did I not know that…" Jasmine cries.

"Yeah, isn't that your boyfriend?" Geoff asks.

"I thought he was dating Gwen…" Cody says as Jasmine runs off crying.

"Way to go, dude, you made her sad!" Tyler yells.

"I didn't mean to!"

"Go make it better, Cody!" LeShawna barks.

"Gosh, this is Sierra all over again." Cody whines.

"Bandits." Chef yells. "You got an Ace, that's eleven, you at twenty-one."

"YES!" Tohper yells.

"Bad Bandits win immunity, and a dinner from Don's Peanut Barn!" Chris yells.

"I feel like those names change a lot." Alejandro says.

"That means only the Grannies and Couch Potatoes are left! It's getting exciting!"

"Come on guys, they have two men down, we got this!" Brick cheers.

"Whatever." Katie sighs.

"Question time!" Chris says with excitement. "How old was Bridgette when she first went surfing?"

"Come on, Geoff! You have to know this one!" LeShawna yells.

"Twelve!" he screams.

"Wrong you are!" Chris laughs.

"Wait, haha! That was Brody!" Geoff laughs.

"What is wrong with you?!" Tyler snaps.

"Was it seven?" Brick asks.

"Yep! You got it!" Chris says.

"Wow, talk about a lucky guess!" Brick cheers as Chef draws a card with a skull on it. "A skull and cross bones? What's that mean?" Brick asks.

"I was hoping we'd get this card! Automatic elimination! I'll see you guys later, Couch Potatoes!" Chris laughs.

"Wait, what?!" Ezekiel screeches.

"Way to go, Brick." Katie spits.

"Not really a worthy victory, but we did it! High five, Dawn!" Cody cheers.

"Yes!" she replies high fiving him. "We did it!"

"How is this fair at all, Chris? We got the question right." Brick says.

"It's not fair, that's the point! I love this show!" Chris laughs.

A few hours later and we join the Ugly Couch Potatoes at the Gilded Chris ceremony. "Guys, you all need to get your act together! This is just getting sad!" Chris announces.

"Oh, we're about to get our act together real good." Rodney says glaring at Brick.

"My platoon is well on their way to victory, Chris. Save the smack talk." Brick snaps.

"Oh, this will be fun! Awards for Rodney, Zeke, Staci, and Katie… That only leaves Brick and Ella!" Chris says.

"What?!" Brick gasps looking back at his team, who are all grinning at him evily.

"Oh boy, I really hope I'm not going home! That would be baaaaad!" Ella sings to a melody she made up in her head.

"NO!" Chris yells. "I HAVE HAD IT! Season six was bad enough, I made the rules very clear, and you have crossed them. You guys voted Brick off, but he's staying because Ella is disqualified!"

"WHAT?! NO!" Rodney cries.

"Oh, I must've forgot…" Ella sighs.

"Wait, so Brick is…" Staci says as the entire team gasps and looks at Brick, who is glaring at them now.

"I'll truly miss all of you!" Ella sings as Chris pushes her into the lamozene and slams the door.

"That's enough! Will Brick ever trust his team again? Will they try to give him the boot anymore? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Network!" Chris announces.

***AUTHORS NOTE***

Howdy, Steve here. I really want to apologize for the HUGE delay in updates. I recently moved back to college and have been stressing with getting into the swing of things once again. So now I hopefully have found enough down time to relax and write some! Stay tuned for more Total Drama Network and possibly even some more stories!

***END AUTHORS NOTE***


	5. Episode 5: How I Met Your Granny

"Last time on Total Drama Network, our teams partook in a game show challenge! Questions flew left and right as everyone answered as fast as they could. In the end, the Ugly Couch Potatoes were sent to the chopping block for being very unlucky! Lastly, in a shocking turn of events, Ella was sent home in the place of Brick for breaking her one, oh so important rule: no singing! Will Brick forgive his team? How much longer can Justin, Geoff, and Rodney keep up their alliance against Alejandro? Will Amy ever break under Alejandro's Latino magic? Find out here on Total! Drama! Network!"

*THEME SONG*

The camera fades into the sun resonating on a hot day. We pan down to see our contestants outside, baking in the heat. "Woo boy," LeShawna cries. "This weather better cool down, before my hair…" she begins to say before her hair poofs into a huge afro, with everyone watching. "Well darn it."

"Mother of God…" Cody gawks.

"What? Never seen a poof before?" LeShawna barks.

"That's just, so much hair."

"Lucky I don't get that sweaty, really helps with the sports!" Tyler says as Geoff sniffs him.

"Dude," he says. "You have some serious BO going on."

"What? No I don't." Tyler defends as Dawn smells him.

"Geoff's right, you are kind of smelly. Do you deny that as a result of your insecurity?" she asks.

"Uh… Will everyone stop smelling me please?" Tyler snaps.

"But you smell sooo good!" Geoff mocks.

"Haha!" Jasmine laughs. "Smells good, good one, Geoff!"

"Thanks, Jazz!" Geoff cheers.

"What?" Cody asks confusingly looking at Jasmine.

"Honey, why don't you go shower before the challenge?" LeShawna asks.

"Is it really that bad?" Tyler asks.

"My nose hairs are burning, bro." Cody says.

"That might be due to the insane heat, though." Jasmine giggles.

"Fine, I'll make it super quick, time me!" Tyler yells running to the bathhouse, past the Bad Bandits.

"How can he run in this heat?" Anne Maria asks. "I can feel my tan peeling!"

"That's what you get for spraying it on." Eva barks.

"Are you questioning my tan?!"

"Please, hit me. I'm begging you."

"Ladies, please. Let us get along at least this once." Alejandro begs.

"When do you plan on dropping this nice act?" Amy asks.

"When you drop the beautiful act, gorgeous." Alejandro winks.

"I may literally vomit." Amy gags.

"I don't get it." Topher asks. "Your hair isn't nearly as good as mine, how do you do it?!"

"What?!" Alejandro gasps.

"I can't believe either of you are even arguing, have you seen this face?" Justin asks. "Ladies?" he says raising his eye brows to Anne Maria and Eva.

"Want me to hit you?" Anne Maria says to Eva, ignoring Justin.

"Why are you guys arguing over looks?" Max asks. "The only thing that should be measured is evilness!"

"In which you would still lose." Alejandro laughs.

***Confessional***

Max: How dare he! The tall one will be my first slave when I TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

Alejandro: What gives with both Topher and Justin challenging my beauty… Could it be that Topher is now in on Justin's alliance? What was once cute may be getting too big to handle. Time to start picking people off.

Topher: I don't really care about this alliance stuff; I was just concerned. I spend two hours a day on my hair, and I just want to know why it doesn't work like it should.

Justin: Have I really lost my touch? I know season two did a toll on me, but is it really completely gone? *cries uncontrollably*

Amy: Why did Justin try to get their attention? Alejandro's level is not one to stoop to, that's for sure.

***End Confessional***

We come back to the Ugly Couch Potatoes all sitting around, baking in the sun. "Oh dang, it's hot today." Ezekiel cries.

"Yeah, wish these stupid trailers had AC in them." Rodney whines.

"Wish my great uncle were here, he invented AC." Staci says.

"Really?" Ezekiel gawks.

"Probably not." Katie spits.

"I swear, it's awesome!" Staci cheers.

"Whatever." Katie says with a blank stare.

"Is everything okay, Katie?" Rodney asks.

"Never better." Katie spits.

***Confessional***

Rodney: How am I going to tell Ella that I love Katie?

***End Confessional***

"Hello team." Brick says walking by his team.

"Brick! Where were you?" Staci asks.

"Running my 5k."

"In this heat?" Ezekiel asks.

"Yep." Brick says sitting away from everyone else.

"Dang." Rodney says quietly.

***Confessional***

Ezekiel: Brick is totally scaring the crap out of me now, eh.

Katie: Brick is acting awesome today.

***End Confessional***

"Hello, happy contestants!" Chris says over the speaker. "Totem pole time! Next challenge o'clock!"

"Well, here we go with this poof." LeShawna sighs.

"WAIT!" Tyler yells from the shower. "Was that Chris?!"

"Yeah, man, he said to report to the totem pole ten minutes ago. Better hurry before we get penalized." Cody giggles.

"CRAP!" Tyler yells running out in nothing but a towel.

"Why did you lie to him?" Dawn asks.

"Because it was comedy gold." Cody says wiping a tear from his eye.

"No, it actually wasn't." Dawn says walking off as Geoff walks up to Cody.

"Bad move, bro." he sighs.

***Confessional***

Cody: My humor is the only way into a lady's heart, how am I supposed to date Dawn if she doesn't think I'm funny?

***End Confessional***

As the teams arrive at the totem pole, Chris awaits them with Chef by his side. "Welcome kiddos!" Chris says as Chef laughs uncontrollably while everyone stares at him. "Who's ready for today's live performance?" Chris asks as Chef, once again, cracks up.

"What gives, Chef?" Cody asks.

"HAHAHA" Chef laughs even louder.

"Chef is laughing because today is Sitcom day! Similar to the first commercial challenge, each team will split off to rehearse and perform a given scene from their own original sitcom!" Chris announces.

"A sitcom?! Yes! Those are the best!" Staci cheers.

"Great! Glad to have some enthusiasm! Good Grannies, you will be performing a scene where all of Grandma LeShanwa's grandchildren come over to surprise her for the holidays! Bad Bandits, you will be playing a scene where Alejandro's best friend, Justin, convinces him to go ask out that cute girl across the bar, Amy, who's with her friend Eva! And last but not least, Ugly Couch Potatoes, you will be acting out a death scene as Brick lies in bed taking in his final breaths."

"How on earth is that funny?!" Brick yells.

"SIT COMS AIN'T ALWAYS FUNNY! Sometimes they have meaning. Sometimes they make you…" Chef begins to say before crying.

"This is Chef's challenge. Anyway, Chef and I will be your judges. The winner will be based on our reactions to the skit, rather it be laughter or sadness. You'll all have two hours to prepare your skit, better get to work!" Chris announces.

"Okay, everyone gather to granny!" LeShawna says as everyone gathers.

"We should do one of those Madea things!" Cody suggests.

"And why's that?!" LeShawna barks.

"I really need to start watching what I say, huh?" Cody asks Tyler.

"Shut up." Tyler says standing in his Towel.

"So we know we're surprising you for the holidays, what other than that?" Jasmine asks.

"Just act super stoked! Not every day granny gets to see her kids." Geoff adds.

"Good point! I'll just have to get into that mind set." LeShawna says.

"Wait, why is granny alone? What happened to grandad?" Geoff asks.

"He, uh… Went on vacation." Dawn says.

"V-Vacation…?" Geoff asks.

"Geoff, grandad passed away."

"What?! No, it can't be… How… Why…" Geoff breaks down crying on the ground as Dawn gets down and comforts him.

"Hey, it'll all be okay." She comforts.

"What am I watching?" Cody asks.

Meanwhile, the Bad Bandits are quick at work. "Quickly, everyone! This is one challenge I cannot wait to begin." Alejandro says raising his eye brows at Amy from across their bar set.

"Ugh." Amy sighs to Eva. "I just want to get this over with."

"Me and you both, sister." Eva barks. "Why do I have to be in this stupid skit?!"

"I don't know, but just don't complain and let's do it." Amy barks.

"Well, okay then." Eva says.

***Confessional***

Eva: Usually I'm the one demanding respect. Either she's my new best friend, or my new worst enemy.

Alejandro: This challenge will be perfect for me. I'll begin my plan my planting the seed of doubt within Justin's alliance, then I'll sit back and watch it as it grows into destruction! Wow, that sounded like something Max would say…

***End Confessional***

"This is stupid!" Topher cries.

"What is?" Anne Maria asks.

"Why am I not in this shot?! I mean come on, what's a guy got to do?!"

"I don't care, dibs on director!"

"What?! Now I can't even be director?!"

"What if Evil wants to direct?" Max asks.

"Can I be the illustrator at least?" Topher asks.

"This is a sitcom, not a children's book." Justin says.

"I WANT TO BE INVOLVED!" Topher cries.

"That's enough, Topher. You and Max can partake in our next challenge." Alejandro demands.

"That blows." Topher says sitting on the ground.

"Would you like to join forces and eliminate our weak team?" Max asks.

"Nah."

"Hello there, new best friend." Alejandro says to Justin. "Take a moment to admire this with me."

"What?" Justin asks as he and Alejandro look over at Amy.

"Her stunning beauty… It's almost too much to handle." Alejandro says.

"Wait, what about Heather? Seriously you two had it going." Justin says.

"Heather is my girlfriend, but that does not limit my eyes." Alejandro says.

"What does that even mean?"

"You would know if you hadn't lost your touch."

***Confessional***

Justin: Oh boy. This. Means. War.

Alejandro: Consider the seed planted. *evil laughter*

***End Confessional***

Finally, we join the Ugly Couch Potatoes, who are hard at work as Brick lies in the bed. "What do you want us to say, captain?" Ezekiel asks.

"We don't need to rehearse." Brick says.

"Wait, what?" Rodney asks.

"We don't need it."

"What makes you say that?" Staci asks.

"Follow my lead and we'll be fine." Brick says.

"Whatever you say, Mr. Boss Man." Ezekiel says.

"Zeke, please stop sucking up. I'm not mad at anyone."

"Are you sure?" Rodney asks.

"Who cares either way." Katie says with a blank stare into the distance.

"You seriously scare me." Ezekiel says to her.

"A cadet never gives up on his battalion." Brick says forcingly.

"Hurray!" Staci cheers.

"Well, what do we do then?" Rodney asks.

"Stand there."

"Wow, you sure?" Ezekiel asks.

"Yes, positive."

"Okay. In that case I need to go use the bathroom." Rodney says.

"Take your time. We have a lot of it." Brick says as he begins to take a nap.

"I wish I had a bed…" Staci says.

"I wish I had a coffin." Katie says with the same blank stare.

Sometime later, we join Rodney who has ventured off quite far from the others. He approaches Justin and Geoff waiting for him on the bridge.

"There you are, where you been, dude?" Geoff asks.

"I got here when I could, sorry." Rodney answers.

"Now that everyone's here, I just got to say, there's no chance for us making it to the final three with Alejandro here." Justin says.

"I agree." Rodney adds.

"Well what're we going to do, bro?" Geoff asks.

"I don't know. It's still pretty early in the season, but as soon as someone mentions me losing my touch, that's when I get serious." Justin says.

"Not cool, dude, not cool." Geoff agrees.

"Can't you throw this challenge, Justin? To get Alejandro eliminated?" Rodney asks.

"Maybe. It might be a little early for that. It seems risky." Justin answers.

"We have to do something! You all haven't lost a single challenge yet!" Geoff says.

"But getting the team to vote for him now may be a little hard. Anne Marie is pretty much in love with him, I'm pretty sure Eva wants everyone dead, and Max and Topher barely count as teammates."

"All I'm saying is we need to hurry and get him out of here before he figures us out." Rodney says.

"You have a point."

"Okay, guys, we need to get back before everyone gets suspicious." Geoff says.

"True. See you all later."

A shot is made back to the Good Grannies hard at work, an hour later when Geoff, Justin, and Rodney have returned to their teams. "Alright, everyone got the script down?" LeShawna asks.

"Yeah, this would honestly make more sense if we hadn't eliminated Cameron." Cody says.

"Why's that?! Cause he's a brother?" LeShawna barks.

"Uhhh…" Cody says backing up into Geoff.

"You're a mess, dude." He laughs.

"I totally got this!" Tyler cheers.

"Why haven't you put clothes on yet?" Dawn asks.

"Can't abandon a challenge half way through! Woohoo!" Tyler yells putting his fists in the air, accidently letting his towel hit the ground.

"Please, for the love of everything good, go get clothes. We can wait." Jasmine begs.

"Fine, time me!" Tyler yells running off.

"Okay, while he's gone, let's go over everyone's roles." Dawn says.

"Alright, Dawn, Tyler, and Cody are the kids. Jasmine is Tyler's wife and Geoff is Dawn's husband.

"What does that make me?" Cody asks.

"A disappointment." LeShawna laughs.

"Nothing different from actual Christmas." Cody sighs.

"After that, I think we're ready!" LeShawna cheers.

Meanwhile, the Bad Bandits are readying their scene. "How are you going to ask her out?" Justin asks Alejandro.

"I don't know, you tell me, wing man." He grins.

"Oh, okay, forgot the script for a second." Justin chuckles.

"No worries, we will nail it." Alejandro grins.

"I am so bored." Topher whines playing in the dirt.

"Me as well." Max says laying on his back.

"We should be in this. What makes them so special?" Topher asks.

"Maybe we're too evil. Max says before examining Topher. "Well, I am."

"I can be whatever I want!' Topher defends. "Especially a reality television host."

"Keep telling yourself that."

Finally, we join the Ugly Couch Potatoes, as Alejandro watches from afar a few minutes after we were with the Bad Bandits. "So are we ever going to get ready?" Ezekiel asks.

"Say 'We'll miss you Brick'" Brick says.

"Okay, got it!" Ezekiel says saluting.

"I think we may actually win this time!" Rodney cheers.

"You got it!" Staci cheers with him as Alejandro ponders the conversation.

***CONFESSIONAL***

Alejandro: Interesting… Is there really anything to sabotage if they aren't even trying? I think I'll just enjoy watching this one blow up in front of me.

Brick: I swear I have a plan in mind. Our days of losing are coming to an end.

Staci: I'm worried we don't have a plan, but what kind of faith is there besides blind faith?

***End Confessional***

"Campers!" Chris says over the speaker. "Report to the amphitheater! Time for performances!"

***Confessional***

LeShawna: Ain't no way we losing this one. LeShanwa's team is taking that award tonight!

Justin: Should I throw the challenge and get Alejandro eliminated, or try to win… Hmmm…

***End Confessional***

"Bad Bandits, you guys go first! Take your places!" Chris says as they all get in place. "And… ACTION!"

"Is that guy over there staring at me?" Amy asks Eva as Alejandro is raising his eye brows.

"Wow, I do not know, perhaps." Eva forcingly says.

"I hope he doesn't come over here, I really don't need to date."

"Dude." Alejandro says to Justin. "Would you look at that beauty over there?"

"The black haired one?" Justin asks.

"No, you fool! The stunning angel with the beach blonde hair! I must get to know her."

"Walk over there then, what's the worst that could happen?"

"I need a wing man, what do you say, old friend?"

"I got your back, I promise."

"Thanks, amigo. I can always count on you." The two walk over as Alejandro leans against the wall near Amy. "Hello, my name is Alejandro, what is yours?"

"I'm, uh… Amy." Amy says forcingly.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing at a bar on a Thursday night?"

"It's girls' night." Eva interrupts.

"Well, it just so happens to be guys' night, right Justin?"

"Yeah, guys' night." Justin says.

"Okay, well it was nice to…" Amy begins to say before Alejandro interrupts.

"Justin and I came here to relieve stress from our animal rescuing, right?"

"I thought we came here to pick up chicks…" Justin says.

"Wait, what?! You dog!" Eva yells.

"Justin." Alejandro snaps.

"I'll be leaving now." Amy says walking away.

"And cut!" Justin says smiling into the camera that Anne Maria is using.

"PERFECT!" she yells.

"Not really, we didn't even giggle." Chris says.

"It actually kind of made me mad." Chef says.

"4."

"What?! What happened?!" Alejandro yells.

***Confessional***

Justin: Well, time to play my magic.

Alejandro: This alliance is officially dangerous. Time to make a play. Watch out Justin.

***END CONFESSIONAL***

"Good grannies, let's get this over with." Chris says.

"Let's do this!" Leshawna yells sitting on her couch as the doorbell rings. "Who on earth could that be? Come in!" in comes the other teammates. "What a lovely surprise!"

"Yes, and I brought my wife, Bro, I MEAN, Dawn!" Geoff says.

"What the heck?" Dawn says as Chef is laughing.

"And I brought Jasmine, my lady!" Tyler screams.

"Where's your girlfriend, Cody?" LeShawna asks.

"She doesn't exist, granny!" Cody says with an awkward smile.

"Typical Cody!" she says as Chris and Chef laugh.

"I don't get why that was funny." Dawn says.

"How's life been, LeShawna?" Jasmine asks.

"So much better now that my amazing family is here!" LeShawna says with a tear in her eye.

"That's right, dude!" Geoff says as he fist-bumps and accidently punches Cody, knocking him into the Christmas tree.

"Oh my tree!" LeShawna sighs.

"Sorry, I'll fix it, I promise!" Cody says.

"It's okay, honey."

"No really, I can do it. I'll just go buy a white tree, I like those better."

"AND WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!" LeShawna yells.

"Cut! Please cut!" Dawn screams.

"I give that a 5. Poor, poor acting. Like really, everyone here sucks." Chris laughs. "Speaking of sucking, Couch Potatoes, you're up!"

They take their place and Ezekiel looks at him with tears in his eyes. "I'll miss you, eh. DANGIT!" Ezekiel screams slapping himself.

"Don't resort to violence." Brick says weakly. "People die, it happens. Do not mourn my passing, but celebrate my existence. My whole life, everyone here has meant so much to me. If anything were to have ever came between us, I hope all is forgiven." Brick looks into Rodney's eyes with tears. "Once a team… Always a team." He quietly says closing his eyes.

"Oh my god…" Chris says tearing up.

"Why… Why did he have to go… Once a team…" Chef sobs.

"10, solid 10, for once, the Ugly Couch Potatoes win the award! Don's food place, I don't care." Chris screams while him and Chef both cry.

"I guess that puts us at the elimination ceremony…" Alejandro says.

"Yes." Chris barely says crying.

"Good." He says winking at Justin.

***CONFESSIONAL***

Justin: All I can do is hope people vote him off. Luckily, I don't believe I've done anything noticeable.

Alejandro: Time to play some Total Drama!

***END CONFESSIONAL***

We join the Bad Bandits at the Gilded Chris ceremony. "About time you all made it here!"

"Yeah, I bet if I acted we wouldn't be!" Topher cries.

"Shut up and take your award, Topher."

"Whatever." Topher says grabbing his award.

"Max, Amy and Eva, you're safe too." Chirs says.

"Excellent. It seems you are all still aware of my evilness." Max says.

"That only leaves Alejandro, Justin, and Anne Maria."

"Oh here we go." Alejandro says.

"Oh boy." Justin gulps.

"Alejandro, next one is for you." Chris says.

"Bye bye, loser!" Anne Maria says to Justin.

"Actually, next one goes to Justin!" Chris yells.

"Thank God!" Justin cheers.

"What?!" Anne Maria yells. "Whatever, I don't need this stupid show anyway!"

***CONFESSIONAL***

Alejandro: OF course I pushed to eliminate Anne Maria instead. No one would vote for Justin yet. This will be a time consuming process, but it'll happen. I said it once, but now I mean it. One, by one, they'll all go down.

***END CONFESSIONAL***

"You're ugly, Chris!" Anne Maria yells as the lamozene drives off.

"Well that just hurt." Chris says. "What's in store next? Will Alejandro put a stop to this rising alliance? Will Cody ever get to make a move on Dawn? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Network!"


	6. Episode 6: CIS Studio

"Last time on Total Drama Network!" Host Chris begins to say. "Our teams partook in a sitcom challenge, where the Ugly Couch Potatoes pulled a surprising victory, giving the Bad Bandits their first loss. To scare Justin and his alliance, Alejandro convinced his team to eliminate Anne Maria to remind Justin just who's in charge of this game! Will Justin, Geoff, and Rodney's alliance take caution with this move by Alejandro? Will Cody EVER make a move on Dawn, because let's be honest, we all want to see him get shot down! Find out all of this here, on the most dramatic episode yet, of Total! Drama! Network!"

*THEME SONG*

We join the teams at breakfast as they are all forcing themselves to eat. "I'm literally so glad Anne Maria is gone." Amy says while forcing down what they think is oatmeal. "She was one of the most annoying people on this show." She says once again glaring down the table at Alejandro, who isn't paying attention.

"You're telling me. We literally couldn't have a worse team." Eva barks.

"So you two don't like him either?" Justin whispers getting closer.

"Of course not. Have you seen him?" Amy barks.

"Maybe you just have a crush on him." Topher laughs from the other end of the table.

"Get real, no way." Amy barks.

"There's no time for crushes, only time to be crushed!" Max laughs.

"Either way, if you don't like him, why not try to get him out of here sooner rather than later?" Justin asks.

"Why don't we just beat his face in?!" Eva yells.

"I like where you're going with this, Eva." Amy says.

"What are we talking about, team?" Alejandro asks joining them.

"Nothing! Sports!" Justin says quickly as Max laughs evilly for no reason at all.

***CONFESSIONAL***

Amy: That was a close one. But maybe if I can convince them to vote off Alejandro, we'll be free!

Justin: Topher was so wrong, Amy is totally not the type of girl to fall for Alejandro's stupid game… Which was once my game…

Topher: Who even cares about the competition at this point, I just want to play today!

***END CONFESSIONAL***

The Ugly Couch Potatoes watch from their table. "Why don't we strategize like that?" Rodney asks.

"There's no need." Brick says.

"What do you mean? I think we need it more than anyone!" Ezekiel says.

"We're all in this together. Worry not, platoon." Brick smiles as he continues to eat.

"I'm just happy I got to be on so many episodes this time!" Staci smiles.

"Same!" Ezekiel agrees.

"Awh, gosh!" Staci blushes.

***CONFESSIONAL***

Staci: I've never had a boyfriend before… I wonder how they work…

***END CONFESSIONAL***

"Why should we strategize? None of us will win anyway." Katie spits.

"What happened to you? You and Sadie used to be so happy and bubbly." Brick asks.

"DON'T SAY THAT NAME!" Katie yells.

"Okay, you for sure scare me, eh." Ezekiel quivers.

Meanwhile, the Good Grannies are just eating at their table. "Look at those fools, screamin' at each other." LeShawna laughs.

"Yeah, we are totally a family, guys!" Geoff cheers.

"I'd rather not do that again." Cody giggles.

"If we keep up this optimism, I don't think we'll ever lose!" Jasmine cheers.

"Don't say that, you'll jinx us, yo!" Tyler snaps.

"Dude, jinxes aren't real." Geoff says.

"WHAT?!" Dawn screams as she spits out her oatmeal. "Take it back, now!"

"What?" Geoff asks defensively.

"Oh God… The Jinx Gods are after you now!" Dawn sighs.

"Jinx Gods?" Tyler asks.

"Come on, honey, there ain't no such thing." LeShawna laughs.

"Please, trust me! We need to watch out for Geoff!" Dawn says.

"Don't worry, brah. I got my back!" Geoff laughs.

"You're so hot." Cody says staring and drooling at Dawn.

"What?" Dawn asks.

"NOTHING!" Cody screams.

***CONFESSIONAL***

Cody: I think it's about time I made my move on Dawn; it's been long overdue! She doesn't know the Cody Hurricane of Love is coming in hot!

Dawn: I sense horrible auras coming in towards our team! I tried to keep my aura reading low, but I can't anymore! This is too serious!

***END CONFESSIONAL***

"Campers!" Chris says walking into the lunch tent.

"What? No speakers today?" Cody asks.

"Nope! Getting a little more formal!"

"What's that mean, boss?" Ezekiel whispers to Brick.

"Just listen, Ezekiel." Brick answers.

"It's challenge time, everyone's favorite time!" Chris announces.

"Yeah it is!" Tyler cheers.

"Today's challenge is going to be a good one!" Chris says.

"Okay… What is it?" Alejandro asks.

"Evil?" Max asks.

"No, what the heck." Topher snaps.

Suddenly, a huge scream is let out by Chef from the kitchen. "Chef…?" Cody asks.

"Umm… Everyone stay here." Chris says as he slowly walks to the kitchen.

"What's going on?" Staci asks as everyone shushes her. About ten seconds pass before they all hear Chris scream too.

"What?!" Brick asks as everyone runs into the kitchen to find nothing but a pool of blood and no bodies.

"Where are they?!" Tyler screams.

"They died, yo!" Ezekiel worries.

"Guys, are you for real?" Amy asks.

"Come on, do you really think someone killed Chris and Chef?" Alejandro asks. "Well, I guess it's not too far off… Eva?"

"Don't look at me." She says.

"This is awesome." Katie smiles.

"Not now, Katie." Brick says as he approaches the blood and reaches down and smells it. "Guys, I hate to say, but this isn't fake blood."

"What? Get real." Jasmine says walking over and sniffing it too. "Oh my God… he's right."

"So what does that mean?" LeShawna asks.

"MEANS WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Geoff cries. "I didn't even get to say bye to Brody!"

"Dude, you have a girlfriend!" Cody snaps.

"And Bridge!"

"Um, what's going to happen to us?" Rodney asks.

"Boss, take care of us, please." Ezekiel cries.

"Remain calm, everyone, this is much more than a challenge now." Brick says.

"Oh come on, do you all honestly believe they're dead? Where's their bodies?" Amy asks.

"There's no time, we need to be cautious. We work as one team, understood?" Brick asks.

"Whatever, man, just keep me alive! I need my own show!" Topher panics.

"This is brilliant… Excellent display of evil!" Max laughs.

"Okay, everyone back to the eating area." Brick says.

Sometime later, everyone is sitting at their tables while Brick is blocking off all the doors. "Any guesses on what's going on?" he asks.

"Chris and Chef are playing a prank on us, and we're stupid for falling for it?" Amy spits.

"Maybe, but the evidence points otherwise." Brick says as another scream is let out.

"What was that?!" Ezekiel screams.

"WHO was that?!" Topher cries.

"Keep calm, everyone. There's for sure someone else here. No one leave, we need to all stick together." Brick says.

"Man, we've been in here for three hours, come on!" Tyler complains.

"No complaints. We are all in this together." Brick says.

"Well then you better be good at cooking. I'm getting hungry." Staci says.

"Staci we just ate." Rodney says.

"So?"

"Please, my amigos, we mustn't act too rash. We have no way of knowing what's going on out there!" Alejandro says.

"He's right, everyone remain calm." Brick says.

"Who died and made you boss, huh?!" Eva barks.

"I'm the only one with any military training, you need me in charge." Brick says.

"Come on! Please shut up! Chris, get out here and give us our challenge!" Amy screams.

"Wow, I'm not too sure I like this game." Topher whispers to Max.

"Wimp." Max replies.

"I'm going to take a nap." Katie says.

"How can you nap when you could possibly die?!" Ezekiel screams as everyone begins to panic.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Amy yells as everyone grows quiet. "To prove that everyone here is stupid, I'll go out and find them myself."

"No, I will not let you." Brick says as Amy knees him in the crotch, sending him to the ground. She walks over him. "Halt…" he cries quietly.

"Wait, I'll go with you." Justin says.

"Why?" Amy asks.

"Because there sure is nothing productive in here." Justin replies as they walk out of the tent, and Alejandro glares at them.

***CONFESSIONAL***

Alejandro: What was all of that about? Waiting time is over, I'm taking over this game now…

***END CONFESSIONAL***

Alejandro walks over to a quiet Katie. "Hello, beautiful." He says.

"No I'm not." She answers not even breaking her stare into space.

"Come on, where's the vibrant Katie I once knew?"

"I'm pretty sure this is the first time you've ever talked to me."

"Either way, there's so much brewing on your team, it pains me to sit back and watch! You must do something about it!"

"Brick?"

"No, not Brick." Alejandro says as he gets close and whispers something into her ear.

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense."

"See? You're welcome." Alejandro says.

"I didn't say thanks."

"Okay, guys," Rodney says to his team. "They've been gone for a while… should more people go?"

"Dawn and I will!" Cody yells overhearing them.

"Why us?" Dawn asks.

"Please?" he whines.

"I mean I guess." Dawn says as they walk out together.

"Poor boy." LeShawna laughs.

"Man, why'd Cody go? Guy is a wimp!" Tyler whines.

"He beat you to it, brah!" Geoff laughs.

"Guys, I need something to drink, I'll be in the kitchen." LeShawna says.

As she enters the kitchen and is preparing a soda, Alejandro walks in behind her. "LeShawna, I must talk to you."

"What on earth do you want, fool? You ain't even on my team." LeShawna barks.

"It's just… I've noticed a lot of bad things brewing on your team! I couldn't hold it back any longer without telling you!" Alejandro says.

"Nope, no way! Not after season three, what do you think I am, a fool?"

"Please, hear me out!" He whines as he whispers in her ear. LeShawna pauses for a moment and looks puzzles.

"Sh… Shut up." She barks as she runs back into the other room.

***CONFESSIONAL***

LeShawna: As much as I hate that snake… He was right about what he said…

Alejandro: Consider my game played! *evil laugh*

Max: For the record, I heard an evil laugh before I came in here, and it was just terrible.

***END CONFESSIONAL***

Meanwhile, Amy and Justin are looking all over for Chris and Chef. "If I were an egotistical host and his overweight Chef sidekick, where would I be?" Amy asks as Justin laughs. "What?"

"That was a good one." Justin laughs. "So, this Alejandro thing. What're we going to do?"

"Vote him out? I mean, me, you, and Eva are enough. Topher and Max hardly matter."

"You have a good point. So throw the challenge?"

"Yes, but the only problem is I have no idea if this is actually a challenge or not."

"You don't believe they are actually dead, do you?"

"Of course not, but maybe this is just some sort of introduction?"

"Perhaps. Gosh, I don't know."

"Hey, is that Cody and Dawn?" Amy asks pointing at them from a distance.

We join them as they are awkwardly walking along. "So…" Cody says. "Got a boyfriend?"

"Hello to you too, Cody. And no." Dawn answers.

"Good to know."

"Tell me, why are you so awkward?"

"What?"

"If you like me, why won't you just try being yourself and having a normal conversation with me?"

"Sadly, this is me." He laughs.

"Well, I noticed it a while back, and just be you, Cody."

"So are you saying you like me too?"

"No, not exactly." She says.

***CONFESSIONAL***

Cody: She digs me.

***END CONFESSIONAL***

Meanwhile, back at the lunch tent, the campers are all standing around in panic. "How long has everyone been gone?" Brick asks.

"About an hour." Geoff answers.

"Not good…"

"I beg you, let me go find my teammates." Alejandro begs.

"Well, since you are the only one here actually treating me with authority, fine, you may go."

"Authority?!" Eva yells.

***CONFESSIONAL***

Brick: What can I say? I have the most training here, I need to be in charge for everyone's safety.

Alejandro: Everyone here is literally so ignorant. As long as I keep feeding Brick's arrogance, I'll have a teammate at the merge… At this point, it's only a matter of time before my team gangs up on me. So now's the time to build that alliance.

***END CONFESSIONAL***

"No one tells me what to do." Eva barks.

"Why are you acting so much like Jo?" Brick asks.

"WHO?!"

"Which one was that again?" Topher asks Max.

"Why are you talking to me so much lately?" Max asks.

"WAIT!" Topher yells in realization. "I just realized that I'm sitting out a challenge again! I hate this freaking team!"

"This is more than a challenge, fool!" Brick barks.

"Whatever it is, I want to do something." Topher answers just before another loud scream is heard from an unknown woman. "On second thought…" he says jumping into LeShawna's arms.

"Fool, get ahold of yo self." LeShawna says dropping him.

"You all need to look at this from my angle." Katie says.

"Yeah, the angle that killed Chris and Chef?!" Staci barks.

"I wish."

"Wait, what was that?!" Tyler gasps. "DID YOU KILL SOEMONE, DUDE?!" he yells.

"NO." Katie yells.

"Katie, you have been acting very weird lately…" Brick says.

"And?"

"This isn't you, girl… It's someone else." LeShawna says.

"Yeah, I couldn't stand you before, and now I'm terrified." Tyler says.

"Me and you both, brother." Ezekiel says.

"I'll protect you." Staci says to Ezekiel.

"Gawh, thanks!" Ezekiel says.

"I… I… I MISS SADIE." Katie cries out loud as she slams her head onto the table.

"Oh, girl, there there…" LeShawna says comforting her.

"I knew something was up…" Rodney says.

"SHUT UP!" Katie yells at Rodney.

"Gosh, okay."

"That explains why Katie was such an emotional mess." Jasmine says just before Cody and Dawn come running into the tent.

"GUYS! DID YOU HEAR THAT?!" Cody yells.

"A woman screamed!" Dawn cried.

"Yeah, better stay in here just to be safe. Did you happen to see Justin, Amy, or Alejandro?" Brick asks.

"No… I didn't. Dawn says as Cody goes over to sit down next to Tyler.

"So…" Tyler says thudding his arm. "Did you show her what's up?"

"No. But I did protect her from that scream thing!" Cody answers.

"Good start, bro!" They fist bump.

***CONFESSIONAL***

Cody: Don't tell anyone, but I ran faster than she did. Didn't even look back… But as for good news, she showed interest in me! The last girl to do that was, well, Sierra…

Dawn: Cody is interesting, but not really my type. I don't really like dating that much…

***END CONFESSIONAL***

"Wait… I just thought of something…" Ezekiel says.

"What?" Eva barks.

"If screams are coming from out there, and Justin, Amy, and Alejandro are out there, then that means…"

"One of them are the killer!" Rodney gasps.

"Well they sure are putting the Bad in Bad Bandit." Cody giggles.

"This isn't a laughing matter, Maggot." Brick yells.

"Of course it isn't."

"How dare they steal such an evil deed from me?!" Max screams.

"Why do they always get the spot light?!" Topher cries.

"Oh dear God I hate my team." Eva cries.

"Well, can we be for certain?" Jasmine asks.

"Yeah, I mean, dudes aren't much… Except for Alejandro and Justin." Geoff says.

"Oh, and what's that supposed to mean?" LeShawna asks just before Amy screams out.

"OH NO AMY!" Rodney yells. "MY TRUE LOVE!"

"What the heck?" Katie reaches up and says from crying.

A cut is made to Amy and Justin, where Amy just screamed because she stepped in oil. "Wow, don't slip!" Justin laughs.

"Shut up! This place is so gross!" Amy whines.

"Yeah, it was within Chris' budget after all."

"Haha, that's right." Amy laughs.

"Well, that's probably the first time I've ever heard you laugh." Justin grins.

"And probably the last, so let's not make a big deal… Well, maybe again once Alejandro goes home." Amy says as Alejandro hears from behind some sound equipment.

"What have we here?" He whispers to himself.

"Yeah, I know the feeling. So we have me, you, and Eva on board, so to have him gone for sure, we need either Max or Topher…" Justin answers to Amy.

"Topher probably won't care at all, so we'd be better off getting on Max's good side." Amy says.

"How do we do that though?" Justin asks before hearing a sneeze.

"Did you hear that?" Amy asks.

"What was that?" Alejandro whispers as he sneaks off.

"Yeah, where'd that come from?" Justin asks as he hears Chef quietly whisper 'quiet fool.' Amy and Justin both look to their left and find a small shack. As they open the door, they find Chef and Chris looking at a bunch of televisions.

"Busted!" Amy yells.

"Dang it, fool. I told you not to eat those powdered donuts, you always sneeze." Chef barks.

"They're soooo good though!" Chris laughs.

Some time passes as Alejandro returns to the tent. "I was unable to find them, but did you hear Amy scream?" Alejandro says. "Someone please aid me!"

"Fine, Eva, you're in charge. Let's go." Brick says.

"No need!" Chris says as he walks in with Justin, Chef, and Amy.

"OH MY GOD HE'S ALIVE!" Topher yells.

"Dang it." Max whines.

"The Bad Bandits win the challenge! And this time their award isn't food, but a paid 24 hour cruise!" Chris announces.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Justin yells high fiving Amy.

"And Ugly Couch Potatoes, see you tonight!"

"Wait, on what grounds?!" Brick yells.

"Because the Bandits and Grannies are the only teams that actually sent someone out to search for us."

"Dang it, come on, guys!" Brick yells.

On the way to the ceremony, Katie notices Staci. "Staci, come here." Katie whispers.

"Yeah?" She asks.

"I need to let you in on a secret, will you spread the word to Ezekiel?"

"Sure." Staci says as Katie begins to whisper into her ear.

Later, the Ugly Couch Potatoes are at the Gilded Chris ceremony. "Come on guys, you suck." Chris says.

"We know." Brick scoffs.

"Awards for Staci, Katie, and Ezekiel… Leaving only Brick and Rodney."

"Again?!" Brick gasps.

"Oh no…" Rodney whines.

"The next award goes to… Brick. Safe again, maggot." Chris laughs.

"What?!" Rodney gasps. "Really?"

"Results are results, bro. Sorry."

"But I barely talked today, this can't be right!" Rodney whines as Chef escorts him out.

"What a close call…" Brick says.

***CONFESSIONAL***

Katie: I'm so happy I'm not gothic anymore… But what Alejandro told me scared me… He said he caught Rodney talking with Geoff about some sort of cross team alliance, and their plan was to pick off the Couch Potatoes! I mean, it makes sense where we've been losing every challenge… But it sucks. He seemed so nice…

Alejandro: Oh how great it feels to be back in control… Watch out Geoff and Justin, you two are next.

***END CONFESSIONAL***

"How about that?! Who saw that coming?! Will the Couch Potatoes survive despite only having four people? Who will be the next to go?! Find out here on Total! Drama! Network!"


End file.
